oldage-jokes: 26 SIGNS THAT ... 26 SIGNS THAT YOU GREW UP…. a. Your potted plants stay alive.b. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.c. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.d. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.e. You hear y... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-26-SIGNS-THAT ...oldage-jokes: A community orchestra ... A community orchestra A community orchestra was plagued by attendance problems. Several musicians were absent at each rehearsal. As a matter of fact, every player in the orchestra had missed several rehearsals, except fo... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-A-community-orchestra ...oldage-jokes: a dead trombone ... a dead trombone What is the diffference between a dead trombone player lying in the road, and a dead squirrel lying in the road?The squirrel might have been on his way to a gig. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-a-dead-trombone ...oldage-jokes: A guy on ... A guy on his wedding night in the hotel says to his new wife“geez, I never realized you had such big breasts.”The wife gets all upset and throws him out.While he is sitting in the hall another guy comes out down thehall.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-A-guy-on ...oldage-jokes: a half step ... a half step What is the definition of a half step?Two oboes playing in unison. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-a-half-step ...oldage-jokes: A Jazz musician ... A Jazz musician A Jazz musician was told by his doctor, “I am very sorry to tell you that you have cancer and you have only one more year to live.” The Jazz musician replied, “And what am I going to live on for an entire... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-A-Jazz-musician ...oldage-jokes: a major second ... a major second What is the definition of a major second?Two baroque oboes playing in unison. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-a-major-second ...oldage-jokes: a pig and ... a pig and a symphony What s the difference between a pig and a symphony orchestra conductor?There are some things a pig just isn t willing to do. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-a-pig-and ...oldage-jokes: a puppy and ... a puppy and a singer-songwriter What s the difference between a puppy and a singer-songwriter?Eventually the puppy stops whining. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-a-puppy-and ...oldage-jokes: a seamstress and ... a seamstress and a violist What s the difference between a seamstress and a violist?The seamstress tucks up the frills. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-a-seamstress-and ...oldage-jokes: a string instrument ... a string instrument Even though I m a violist, I realize that the organ is not a string instrument. I put the organ jokes here because I thought it made sense to put them next to the piano jokes. What does a German Hammo... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-a-string-instrument ...oldage-jokes: A tenor What ... A tenor What do you see if you look up a soprano s skirt?A tenor. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-A-tenor-What ...oldage-jokes: accordion good for ... accordion good for What s a accordion good for?Learning how to fold a map. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-accordion-good-for ...oldage-jokes: ACUTE APPENDICITIS…. The ... ACUTE APPENDICITIS…. The doctor was examining a young model who was havingtremendous pain in her side.“My dear, you have acute appendicitis,” the doctor said.The woman became quite angry and said, “Don t try hitting onme... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-ACUTE-APPENDICITIS….-The ...oldage-jokes: aerodynamics of a ... aerodynamics of a trombonist s car How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombonist s car?Take the Domino s Pizza sign off the roof. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-aerodynamics-of-a ...oldage-jokes: All-Pro offensive lineman ... All-Pro offensive lineman What s the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and the average All-Pro offensive lineman?Stage makeup. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-All-Pro-offensive-lineman ...oldage-jokes: Alter Your Course! ... Alter Your Course! This is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of NavalOperations, 10-10-95, MSG#H0000115020ecb52EMHS #1: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.”#2: “Recom... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Alter-Your-Course! ...oldage-jokes: alto sax players ... alto sax players You might notice that there are very few jokes about the clarinet. This is out of sympathy. The clarinet has already been the butt of so many jokes - the saxophone, for instance. How many alto sax player... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-alto-sax-players ...oldage-jokes: AN HONEST MISTAKE…. ... AN HONEST MISTAKE…. A woman was in a coma. Nurses were in her room giving her asponge bath. One of them was washing her private area andnoticed that there was a response on the monitor when shetouched her. They went to h... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-AN-HONEST-MISTAKE…. ...oldage-jokes: ANAL SEX…. A ... ANAL SEX…. A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physicianthat her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, andshe wasn t sure it was such a good idea. The Doctor asked, “Do you enjoy it?” She said th... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-ANAL-SEX….-A ...oldage-jokes: aspirin2 ... aspirin2... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-aspirin2-- ...oldage-jokes: August 17, 2005Meet ... August 17, 2005Meet me for lunch! The teacher of the school geography class was lecturing on map reading.After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked:“Suppose I asked you to meet me f... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-August-17,-2005Meet ...oldage-jokes: August 8, 2005CHEAP ... August 8, 2005CHEAP VIAGRA…. Viagra can now be purchased at a huge discount under itsgeneric name. Just ask your doctor or chemist for the genericViagra known as: Mycoxaflopin. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-August-8,-2005CHEAP ...oldage-jokes: bagpipe Angus was ... bagpipe Angus was asked why there were drones on the bagpipe when they make such a distressing sound. He answered, “Without the drones, I might as well be playing the piano.” ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-bagpipe-Angus-was ...oldage-jokes: bagpipe players Why ... bagpipe players Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?To get away from the noise. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-bagpipe-players-Why ...oldage-jokes: banjo player in ... banjo player in a three-piece suit What do you say to a banjo player in a three-piece suit?“Will the defendant please rise?” ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-banjo-player-in ...oldage-jokes: bass player locked ... bass player locked … Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?It took two hours to get the drummer out. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-bass-player-locked ...oldage-jokes: bass players…………. Why ... bass players…………. Why do bands have bass players?To translate for the drummer. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-bass-players………….-Why ...oldage-jokes: bass trombone and ... bass trombone and a chain saw What s the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still.It s easier to improvise on a chainsaw. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-bass-trombone-and ...oldage-jokes: bassoon good for ... bassoon good for What s a bassoon good for?Kindling for an accordion fire.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-bassoon-good-for ...oldage-jokes: bassoon….. Why is ... bassoon….. Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?The bassoon burns longer. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-bassoon…..-Why-is ...oldage-jokes: Battle on the ... Battle on the Ocean Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, ‘Bring me my ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Battle-on-the ...oldage-jokes: BEHIND BARS…. It ... BEHIND BARS…. It was one of the most gruesome cases ever to come before thecourt in the small town, and if found guilty, the defendantwould spend the rest of his life behind bars. The case had not been proceeding well fo... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-BEHIND-BARS….-It ...oldage-jokes: best thing What ... best thing What s the best thing to play a bodhran with?A razor blade. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-best-thing-What ...oldage-jokes: between a banjo ... between a banjo and a chain saw What s the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?The chain saw has greater dynamic range. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-between-a-banjo ...oldage-jokes: BLUE BALLS…. A ... BLUE BALLS…. A man visits his doctor. “I think I have a problem, doc,” said the patient. “One of myballs has turned blue.” The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the patientwould die if they didn t have his te... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-BLUE-BALLS….-A ...oldage-jokes: blues singer s ... blues singer s tombstone What does it say on a blues singer s tombstone?“I didn t wake up this morning…” ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-blues-singer-s ...oldage-jokes: bodhran player How ... bodhran player How do you know when there is a bodhran player at your front door?The knocking gets faster and faster and faster. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-bodhran-player-How ...oldage-jokes: burning oboe What ... burning oboe What is a burning oboe good for?Setting a bassoon on fire. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-burning-oboe-What ...oldage-jokes: change a light ... change a light bulb Q: How many chang players does it take to change a light bulb?All of them. One to twist the bulb for several hours, and the other one to decide that it s as good as it s going to get, and that they mi... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-change-a-light ...oldage-jokes: change a lightbulb? ... change a lightbulb? How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.Don t bother. Just leave it out–no one will notice.One, but the guitarist has to sh... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-change-a-lightbulb? ...oldage-jokes: CHEAP PERV…. A ... CHEAP PERV…. A woman is laying on a gurney out in the hall prior to going tosurgery. As she lays there, a man in white coat comes by, liftsup the sheet, and then leaves. This happens a second time. The third time this ha... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-CHEAP-PERV….-A ...oldage-jokes: CHEST LETTERS…. A ... CHEST LETTERS…. A girl goes to the doctor and takes off her shirt to be examined.On her chest she has a huge red “H.” The doctor asks, “How did you get that red ‘H on your chest?” She replies, “My boyfriend goes to Harv... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-CHEST-LETTERS….-A ...oldage-jokes: chicken crossing the ... chicken crossing the road Why did the chicken cross the road?To get away from the bassoon recital. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-chicken-crossing-the ...oldage-jokes: child of a ... child of a trombonist How can you tell which kid on a playground is the child of a trombonist?He doesn t know how to use the slide, and he can t swing. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-child-of-a ...oldage-jokes: choral director and ... choral director and a chimpanzee What is the difference between a high school choral director and a chimpanzee?It s scientifically proven that chimpanzees are able to communicate with humans. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-choral-director-and ...oldage-jokes: choral performance What ... choral performance What is the difference between a world war and a high school choral performance?The performance causes more suffering. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-choral-performance-What ...oldage-jokes: choruses travel Why ... choruses travel Why do high school choruses travel so often?Keeps assassins guessing. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-choruses-travel-Why ...oldage-jokes: clarinetists How many ... clarinetists How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?Only one, but he ll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-clarinetists-How-many ...oldage-jokes: coma A man ... coma A man s wife had been in a coma for several days following aparticularly nasty knock on the head. As usual, one of thenurses in the hospital was giving her a wash in bed. As shewashed down the woman s body, she spon... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-coma-A-man ...oldage-jokes: conductor and a ... conductor and a sack of fertilizer What s the difference between a conductor and a sack of fertilizer?The sack. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-conductor-and-a ...oldage-jokes: conductor and a ... conductor and a violist A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?The conductor. Business before pleasure. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-conductor-and-a ...oldage-jokes: conductor like a ... conductor like a condom Why is a conductor like a condom?It s safer with one, but more fun without. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-conductor-like-a ...oldage-jokes: conductor n violinist ... conductor n violinist A violinist was auditioning for the Halle orchestra in England. After his audition he was talking with the conductor. “What do you think about Brahms?” asked the conductor. “Ah…” the violinist repli... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-conductor-n-violinist ...oldage-jokes: conductor s hearts ... conductor s hearts Why are conductor s hearts so coveted for transplants?They ve had so little use. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-conductor-s-hearts ...oldage-jokes: Custer s Last ... Custer s Last Thoughts The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer s last thoughts.Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake p... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Custer-s-Last ...oldage-jokes: date with a ... date with a trumpet player A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, “Well, how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great kisser?” “Nah,” the first girl replied. “That ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-date-with-a ...oldage-jokes: definition of a ... definition of a male quartet What s the definition of a male quartet?Three men and a tenor. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-definition-of-a ...oldage-jokes: definition of an ... definition of an optimist What s the definition of an optimist?A choral director with a mortgage. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-definition-of-an ...oldage-jokes: definition of “nerd” ... definition of “nerd” What s the definition of “nerd?”Someone who owns his own alto clarinet. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-definition-of-“nerd” ...oldage-jokes: Did you hear ... Did you hear about………….. Did you hear about the tenor who announced that in the following season he would only sing three title roles: Othello, Samson, and Forza del Destino? (true story) ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Did-you-hear ...oldage-jokes: difference between a ... difference between a bodhran player and a terrorist What is the difference between a bodhran player and a terrorist?Terrorists have sympathisers. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-difference-between-a ...oldage-jokes: difference between a ... difference between a bull and an orchestra What s the difference between a bull and an orchestra?The bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-difference-between-a ...oldage-jokes: difference between a ... difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower What s the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower?Lawn mowers sound better in small ensemles.The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don t return it.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-difference-between-a ...oldage-jokes: difference between a ... difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist What s the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist?A bad oboist can kill you. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-difference-between-a ...oldage-jokes: difference between a ... difference between a soprano and a terrorist What s the difference between a soprano and a terrorist?You can negotiate with a terrorist. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-difference-between-a ...oldage-jokes: difference between a ... difference between a soubrette and a cobra What is the difference between a soubrette and a cobra?One is deadly poisonous, and the other is a reptile. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-difference-between-a ...oldage-jokes: difference between …………………. ... difference between …………………. What s the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?With a drum machine you only have to punch the information in once. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-difference-between-…………………. ...oldage-jokes: difference between……………. What ... difference between……………. What s the difference between a baritone saxophone and a chain saw?The exhaust. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-difference-between…………….-What ...oldage-jokes: difference……….. What s ... difference……….. What s the difference between a Trumpet player and the rear end of a horse?I don t know either. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-difference………..-What-s ...oldage-jokes: difference………….. What s ... difference………….. What s the difference between an Appalachian dulcimer and a hammered dulcimer?A hammered dulcimer burns hotter; an Appalachian dulcimer burns longer. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-difference…………..-What-s ...oldage-jokes: difficult to tune ... difficult to tune a chang Why is it so difficult to tune a chang?So that violist can feel superior about something. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-difficult-to-tune ...oldage-jokes: DOCTOR, DOCTOR…. Nurse: ... DOCTOR, DOCTOR…. Nurse: Doctor, Doctor the man you ve just treated collapsedon the front step what should I do?Doctor:Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving! ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-DOCTOR,-DOCTOR….-Nurse: ...oldage-jokes: Domino s Pizza ... Domino s Pizza How do you know when there s a trombonist at your door?His hat says “Domino s Pizza” ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Domino-s-Pizza ...oldage-jokes: DON T EAT ... DON T EAT THE COOKIES…. There was an elderly man at home, upstairs, dying in bed. He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking.He wanted one last cookie before he died. He fell out of bed,crawled to... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-DON-T-EAT ...oldage-jokes: DR. SEUSS…. If ... DR. SEUSS…. If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation…Picard: Sigma Indri, that s the star,So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fastBut still the trip will last and lastWe ll ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-DR.-SEUSS….-If ...oldage-jokes: filkers play “Hey, ... filkers play “Hey, buddy, how late do the filkers play?”“Oh, about half a beat behind…” ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-filkers-play-“Hey, ...oldage-jokes: FINE CONDITION…. “You ... FINE CONDITION…. “You re in incredibly fine condition,” the doctor concludedafter finishing a thorough physical. “How old did you say youwere, sir?”“Seventy-eight.”“Seventy-eight! Why, you have the health of a sixty-year... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-FINE-CONDITION….-“You ...oldage-jokes: Fired Up A ... Fired Up A gal comes in for her interview with the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive her application. As the executive begins to scan her resume, he notices that she has been fired fro... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Fired-Up-A ...oldage-jokes: first rehearsal… A ... first rehearsal… A new conductor was at his first rehearsal. It was not going well. He was wary of the musicians as they were of him. As he left the rehearsal room, the timpanist sounded a rude little “bong.” The angry c... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-first-rehearsal…-A ...oldage-jokes: Fix-A-Flat ... Fix-A-Flat ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Fix-A-Flat-- ...oldage-jokes: fixing a broken ... fixing a broken tuba How do you fix a broken tuba?With a tuba glue. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-fixing-a-broken ...oldage-jokes: for birth control ... for birth control What do bodhran players use for birth control?Their personalities. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-for-birth-control ...oldage-jokes: french horn sound ... french horn sound How can you make a french horn sound like a trombone?Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.Take your hand out of the bell and miss all of the notes! ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-french-horn-sound ...oldage-jokes: Games for hospital ... Games for hospital waiting rooms: Surgery: Operation, Life Oncology or Patient Relations: Sorry Neurology: Concentration, Boggle Mental Health: Crazy Eights, Solitaire, Outburst Gastroenterology: Chutes and Ladders, Go F... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Games-for-hospital ...oldage-jokes: GET A HOT ... GET A HOT MAMMA!…. A 92-year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the streetwith a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later, when the old man h... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-GET-A-HOT ...oldage-jokes: Gifted What do ... Gifted What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?Gifted. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Gifted-What-do ...oldage-jokes: GLASS EYE…. A ... GLASS EYE…. A few days before his proctological exam, a one-eyed man accidentallyswallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgotabout it. Once he was in the doctor s offic... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-GLASS-EYE….-A ...oldage-jokes: Go get something ... Go get something to eat! A guy walks into the doctor s office and says, “Doc, I haven t had a bowel movement in a week!” The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, “If it doesn t work, let me ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Go-get-something ...oldage-jokes: GOOD NEWS AND ... GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS…. The doctor tells his patient,”Well I ve got good newsfor you and I ve got bad news for you, what would youlike first?” The patient replies,”Gimme the good news first doc.”The doctor says,”The goo... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-GOOD-NEWS-AND ...oldage-jokes: Good News At ... Good News At Work A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat. . . .Says He: “I m sorry honey but I m up to my neck in work today”Says She: “But I ve got some good news and some bad news for you dear.”Says He: “OK d... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Good-News-At ...oldage-jokes: GRANDMA S 100TH…. ... GRANDMA S 100TH…. The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair,where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.Grandma couldn t speak very well, but she could write noteswhen she needed to ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-GRANDMA-S-100TH…. ...oldage-jokes: GRANDPA & GRANDMA…. ... GRANDPA & GRANDMA…. Grandpa and Grandma were visiting the kids overnight, whenGrandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son s medicine cabinet.He asked the son about using one of the pills, and the son said“I don t think y... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-GRANDPA-&-GRANDMA…. ...oldage-jokes: GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT ... GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE…. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can t baptize cats.2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don t let her brush your hair.3) If your si... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-GREAT-TRUTHS-ABOUT ...oldage-jokes: greeting each other ... greeting each other How to trumpet players traditionally greet each other?“Hi. I m better than you.”How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?The doorbell shrieks! ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-greeting-each-other ...oldage-jokes: GROWING OLD…. Eventually ... GROWING OLD…. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about yourage and start bragging about it.Don t let anyone tell you you re getting old. Squash their toeswith your rocker.The older we get, the fewer th... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-GROWING-OLD….-Eventually ...oldage-jokes: GYNECOLOGIST…. A beautiful, ... GYNECOLOGIST…. A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctortakes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goesout the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed hebeg... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-GYNECOLOGIST….-A-beautiful, ...oldage-jokes: GYNECOLOGIST…. Nancy goes ... GYNECOLOGIST…. Nancy goes to the gynecologist and he examines her. He says, “You have acute vaginitis.” She says, “Thank you.” ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-GYNECOLOGIST….-Nancy-goes ...oldage-jokes: Heard backstage “Will ... Heard backstage “Will the musicians and the drummer please come to the stage!” ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Heard-backstage-“Will ...oldage-jokes: HELP ME DOCTOR!…. ... HELP ME DOCTOR!…. A guy comes running into a doctor s office screaming; “Doctor, doctor!You gotta help me! My dick is orange…” Hearing this, the doctor pullsdown the man s pants, and sure enough, his dick is bright orang... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-HELP-ME-DOCTOR!…. ...oldage-jokes: high school chorus ... high school chorus How does a young man become a member of a high school chorus?On the first day of school he turns into the wrong classroom.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-high-school-chorus ...oldage-jokes: HIT HIM AGAIN…. ... HIT HIM AGAIN…. An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to delivera baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. Whenthe doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboringmother and her 5 year ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-HIT-HIM-AGAIN…. ...oldage-jokes: Hit Television Shows ... Hit Television Shows in Iraq Hit Television Shows in Iraq:“Husseinfeld”“Mad About Everything”“U.S. Military Secrets Revealed”“Suddenly Sanctions”“Allah McBeal”“Children Are Forbidden From Saying Anything Darndest”“Matima... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Hit-Television-Shows ...oldage-jokes: HMO DOCTOR…. Two ... HMO DOCTOR…. Two doctors and an HMO manager died and lined up at the pearlygates for admission to heaven. St. Peter asked them to identifythemselves. One doctor stepped forward and said: “I was apediatric spine surgeon a... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-HMO-DOCTOR….-Two ...oldage-jokes: Homeless What do ... Homeless What do you call a musician without a significant other?Homeless. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Homeless-What-do ...oldage-jokes: HOSPITAL MEMO…. The ... HOSPITAL MEMO…. The following “memo” — apparently by some staff prankster– was faxed to the Medical Records Department of a Spokanehospital.MEMO TO: All Hospital StaffFROM: Administration/GroundskeeperSUBJECT: New Cost C... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-HOSPITAL-MEMO….-The ...oldage-jokes: How do you ... How do you get an oboist to play A flat?Take the batteries out of his electric tuner. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-How-do-you ...oldage-jokes: How do you ... How do you tell … How do you tell if a bass is dead?What s the difference?Who cares? ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-How-do-you ...oldage-jokes: How do you ... How do you tell … How do you tell if a Wagnerian soprano is dead?The horses seem very relieved. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-How-do-you ...oldage-jokes: How do you ... How do you tell …. How do you tell if a bass is actually dead?Hold out a check (but don t be fooled: a slight, residual spasmodic clutching action may occur even hours after death has occurred). ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-How-do-you ...oldage-jokes: How is a ... How is a soubrette …… How is a soubrette different from a sewer rat?Some people actually like sewer rats. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-How-is-a ...oldage-jokes: How many country ... How many country & western singers does it take to change a light bulb?Three. One to change the bulb and two to sing about the old one. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-How-many-country ...oldage-jokes: How many Deadheads ... How many Deadheads .. How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?12,001. One to change it, 2,000 to record the event and take pictures of it, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-How-many-Deadheads ...oldage-jokes: How many French ... How many French horn players ……………. How many French horn players does it take to change a lightbulb?Just one, but he ll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-How-many-French ...oldage-jokes: How many sound ... How many sound … How many sound men does it take to change a light bulb?“One, two, three, one, two, three…”“Hey man, I just do sound.”One. Upon finding no replacement, he takes the original apart, repairs it with a chewi... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-How-many-sound ...oldage-jokes: How many trombonists ... How many trombonists ……. How many trombonists does it take to change a lightbulb?Just one, but he ll do it too loudly. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-How-many-trombonists ...oldage-jokes: How To Screw ... How To Screw Up An Interview We ve all been interviewed for jobs. And, we ve all spent most ofthose interviews thinking about what not to do. Don t bite your nails. Don t fidget. Don t interrupt. Don t belch. If we did a... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-How-To-Screw ...oldage-jokes: HUBBY WITH VASECTOMY…. ... HUBBY WITH VASECTOMY…. I must take every precaution not to get pregnant,” said Edna toPriscilla.“But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy,” Priscillaresponded.“He did. That s why I have to take every precaution.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-HUBBY-WITH-VASECTOMY…. ...oldage-jokes: Human Resources Memo! ... Human Resources Memo! TO: All EmployeesFROM: Human ResourcesIt has been brought to management s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversatio... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Human-Resources-Memo! ...oldage-jokes: I DON T ... I DON T THINK IT S MINE…. After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father wentto see the obstetrician. “Doctor,” he said, “I don t mindtelling you, but I m a little upset because my daughter hasred hair. She can t ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-I-DON-T ...oldage-jokes: I played an ... I played an Amaj7 I was playing in a night club, and getting few requests and small tips. Towards the end of the night, a man walked up with a wad of bills in his hand and asked me to play a jazz chord. I played an Amaj7... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-I-played-an ...oldage-jokes: I was a ... I was a musician St. Peter s still checking ID s. He asks a man, “What did you do on Earth?” The man says, “I was a doctor.” St. Peter says, “Ok, go right through those pearly gates. Next! What did you do on Earth?” “I w... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-I-was-a ...oldage-jokes: ibuprofen1 ... ibuprofen1... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-ibuprofen1-- ...oldage-jokes: ideal weight What ... ideal weight What is the ideal weight for a conductor?About 2 1/2 lbs. including the urn. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-ideal-weight-What ...oldage-jokes: if a tenor ... if a tenor is dead How do you tell if a tenor is dead?The wine bottle is still full and the comics haven t been touched. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-if-a-tenor ...oldage-jokes: Imagine if major ... Imagine if major companies from all around the world startedproducing or sponsoring condoms. They would become fashionableand companies would probably advertise more openly. Imaginethe trademarks:Nike Condoms : Just do I... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Imagine-if-major ...oldage-jokes: in common…. What ... in common…. What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common.Both suck when you plug them in. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-in-common….-What ...oldage-jokes: In New York ... In New York City, an out of work jazz drummer named Ed was thinking of throwing himself off a bridge. But then he ran into a former booking agent who told him about the fantastic opportunities for drummers in Iraq. The a... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-In-New-York ...oldage-jokes: IQ test What ... IQ test What did the drummer get on his IQ test?Drool. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-IQ-test-What ...oldage-jokes: IS THIS IT?…. ... IS THIS IT?…. A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.While on the operating table she had a near-death experience.Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, “No, you have another43 year... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-IS-THIS-IT?…. ...oldage-jokes: jazz trumpeter In ... jazz trumpeter In an emergency a jazz trumpeter was hired to do some solos with a symphony orchestra. Everything went fine through the first movement, when she had some really hair-raising solos, but in the second moveme... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-jazz-trumpeter-In ...oldage-jokes: Job Interview No-No ... Job Interview No-No s! If ya really want that new job, you may want to avoid saying these:“You could do worse.”“I ll work so hard you won t even know I m there.”“I ll need all my paid vacation time up front so I ll be re... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Job-Interview-No-No ...oldage-jokes: kaboom Why is ... kaboom Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright?Because it makes a much bigger kaboom when dropped over a cliff.Why was the piano invented?So the musician would have a place to put his beerAn elderly ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-kaboom-Why-is ...oldage-jokes: kind of calendar ... kind of calendar What kind of calendar does a trombonist use for his gigs?“Year-At-A-Glance.” ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-kind-of-calendar ...oldage-jokes: knocking How do ... knocking How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?The knock always slows down. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-knocking-How-do ...oldage-jokes: Ladies in Pain ... Ladies in Pain What do you call a group of topless female accordian players?Ladies in Pain ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Ladies-in-Pain ...oldage-jokes: least-used sentence What ... least-used sentence What s the least-used sentence in the English language?“Isn t that the banjo player s Porsche?” ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-least-used-sentence-What ...oldage-jokes: LESSON ON MAKING ... LESSON ON MAKING GLOVES…. A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady steeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so hebegan to tell her a story as he was putting on hissurgical gloves…“Do you know how the... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-LESSON-ON-MAKING ...oldage-jokes: lightbul n sopranos ... lightbul n sopranos How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.Two. One to hold the diet cola and the other to get her accompanist to do it.Four. One to... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-lightbul-n-sopranos ...oldage-jokes: LIZ TAYLOR…. Liz ... LIZ TAYLOR…. Liz Taylor goes in to see her cosmetic surgeon. “I have metthe man of my dreams, finally, the love of my life !” sheannounces to the surgeon, “But I need you to help me with asmall problem. This man is only ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-LIZ-TAYLOR….-Liz ...oldage-jokes: make a bass ... make a bass player … How do you make a bass player turn down the volume?Put a chart in front of him. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-make-a-bass ...oldage-jokes: make a million ... make a million dollars singing jazz Know how to make a million dollars singing jazz?Start with two million. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-make-a-million ...oldage-jokes: MALE PHARMACIST…. A ... MALE PHARMACIST…. A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the woman behind thecounter, “Is there a male pharmacist available?” “No” she says, “My sister and I own this place and we areboth pharmacists. How can we help you?”... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-MALE-PHARMACIST….-A ...oldage-jokes: MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY FOR ... MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY FOR THE LAYMAN…. ARTERY–The study of fine paintings. BARIUM–What you do when CPR fails. BENIGN–What you are after you be 8. CAESAREAN SECTION–A district in Rome. COLIC–A sheep dog. COMA–A punctuation ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-MEDICAL-TERMINOLOGY-FOR ...oldage-jokes: Micheal Caine goes ... Micheal Caine goes up to Milton Berle during a party and asks, “What kind of cigar are you smoking there?” “It s a Lawrence Welk.” says Milton. “What s a Lawrence Welk?” Micheal asks. Milton says “It s a piece of crap wi... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-Micheal-Caine-goes ...oldage-jokes: more brains Why ... more brains Why is it good that drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?So they don t disgrace themselves in parades. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-more-brains-Why ...oldage-jokes: More Office Wisdom… ... More Office Wisdom… A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.Don t be irreplaceable; if you can t be... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-More-Office-Wisdom… ...oldage-jokes: night of the ... night of the big symphony concert It was the night of the big symphony concert, and all the town notables showed up to hear it. However, it was getting close to 8 o clock and the conductor hadn t yet shown up. The theate... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-night-of-the ...oldage-jokes: no of drummers ... no of drummers How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?“Why? Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?”Only one, but he ll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can t just be pushed in.Two: one to hold the bulb... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-no-of-drummers ...oldage-jokes: of the time ... of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.y. You don t drink at home to save money before going to a bar.z. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn t apply to you. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-of-the-time ...
