animals-jokes: 10 reasons why ... 10 reasons why a dog doesn`t use a computer! 10. T0o0p hqa5rxd 6tt0[o 6ty[p3e 2w9igtjh;pa3wds (It`s hard to type with paws)9. ‘Sit and stay were hard enough; ‘delete and save are out of the question.8. Saliva-coate... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-10-reasons-why ...answering-jokes: 1: Hey, would ... 1: Hey, would you get the phone?2: I got the phone last time. You get the phone!1: Well, I m on the computer right now, so will you get it?2: I m in the bathroom, and besides, you re closer anyway!1: Nicole, you always p... - Tags:
answering,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-1:-Hey,-would ...school-jokes: 50 Ways to ... 50 Ways to Confuse your Roommate 50 Ways To Confuse Your Roommate1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.3. Twitch a lot.4. Pretend to talk while pretend... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/school-jokes-50-Ways-to ...blondes-jokes: A blonde and ... A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the wi... - Tags:
blondes,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/blondes-jokes-A-blonde-and ...blondes-jokes: A man was ... A man was in his front yard mowing grass when an attractive blonde neighbor came out of her house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in her house. A little later, she ... - Tags:
blondes,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/blondes-jokes-A-man-was ...classic-jokes: A policeman was ... A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver s seat reading a computer magazine and a yo... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-policeman-was ...gender-jokes: A Typical Male ... A Typical Male A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.The first does a total... - Tags:
gender,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/gender-jokes-A-Typical-Male ...adult-jokes: An office manager ... An office manager arrives at his department and sees an employee sitting behind his desk totally stressed out. He gives him the advice: "I went home every afternoon for two weeks and had myself pampered by my wife. It wa... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-An-office-manager ...dirty-jokes: An office manager ... An office manager arrives at his department and sees an employee sitting behind his desk totally stressed out. He gives him the advice: "I went home every afternoon for two weeks and had myself pampered by my wife. It wa... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/dirty-jokes-An-office-manager ...business-jokes: AOL Sales Rep ... AOL Sales Rep from Hell I live in Berlin, Germany and asked a friend in the U.S. per email to call American Online in the States and have them send their AOL install diskettes to me at my Berlin address. My friend called... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-AOL-Sales-Rep ...gender-jokes: August 12, 2005disk ... August 12, 2005disk uses What to do with those AOL disks.1. Mini cutting board (great for the office or the car, use metal door for knife).2. Attach it to a ruler and presto! - you ve got a fly swatter.3. Construct a lif... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/gender-jokes-August-12,-2005disk ...business-jokes: August 17, 2005Real ... August 17, 2005Real Business Signs On an Electrician s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.”In a Non-smoking area: “If we see you smoking we will assume y... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-August-17,-2005Real ...business-jokes: August 9, 2005TIPS ... August 9, 2005TIPS FOR SUCCESS IN BUSINESS…. 1 Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.People with documents in their hands look like hardworkingemployees heading for important meetings. People with not... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-August-9,-2005TIPS ...professional-jokes: BANK LETTER…. This ... BANK LETTER…. This is an actual letter sent to a Bank in the US.The Bank thought it amusing enough to publish it in theirnewsletter.Dear Sir, I am writing to thank you for bouncing the checkwith which I tried to pay my p... - Tags:
professional,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-BANK-LETTER….-This ...celebrity-jokes: Bill Gates died ... Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God..."Well, Bill, I m really confused on this call. I m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/celebrity-jokes-Bill-Gates-died ...professional-jokes: BILL GATES…. Bill ... BILL GATES…. Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory beingjudged by God, who was undecided whether to admit Gates to Heavenor send him to Hell.“Bill,” God says, “I don t know if I should reward y... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-BILL-GATES….-Bill ...business-jokes: Boucher s Observation: ... Boucher s Observation: He who blows his own horn always plays the music several octaves higher than originally written.Bove s Theorem: The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline ap... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Boucher-s-Observation: ...answering-jokes: Computer generated voices:1: ... Computer generated voices:1: Hello, there are no real people here to answer the phone right now.2: Yeah, nobody but us machines!1: Right, just us machines, but don t hang up! If you like, you can leave your name and tele... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Computer-generated-voices:1: ...school-jokes: computer squeak Q: ... computer squeak Q: Why did the computer squeak? A: Because somebody stepped on the mouse! ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/school-jokes-computer-squeak-Q: ...answering-jokes: Computer style monotone: ... Computer style monotone: Hello, I am the XS486 Mark Five answering machine. I am equipped with the new Pentium processor to assure that nothing can go wrong… Gowrong… Grong.. Grong gronggronggrongBEEP ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Computer-style-monotone: ...business-jokes: Cropp s Law: ... Cropp s Law: The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.Bo Diddeley s Observation On The Law: Always take a lawyer with you, and bring another lawyer to watch him.Bolub s Fourth ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Cropp-s-Law: ...oldage-jokes: DR. SEUSS…. If ... DR. SEUSS…. If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation…Picard: Sigma Indri, that s the star,So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fastBut still the trip will last and lastWe ll ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-DR.-SEUSS….-If ...parents-jokes: Fathers then & ... Fathers then & now Today is one of the first Father s Days of our new millennium. Fathers of 1900 didn t have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages:In 1900, fathers prayed their childr... - Tags:
parents,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/parents-jokes-Fathers-then-& ...business-jokes: Galbraith s Law ... Galbraith s Law of Human Nature: Faced with the choice between changing one s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everybody gets busy on the proof.Gerrold s Laws of Infernal Dynamics: 1. An object in ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Galbraith-s-Law ...business-jokes: Generally, this will ... Generally, this will not be a concern until you are promoted to an executive position. But once you ve created the illusion that you serve even the slightest purpose at your place of “business,” there s no telling how fa... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Generally,-this-will ...business-jokes: Goebel s Second ... Goebel s Second Law Of Useless Difficulty: The fastest way to get something done is to determine that it isn t worth doing.Goebel s Law Of Computer Support: Troubleshooting a computer over the telephone is like having se... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Goebel-s-Second ...business-jokes: Gumperson s Law: ... Gumperson s Law: The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.H. L. Mencken s Law: Those who can, do. Those who can t, teach. Martin s Extension: Those who cannot teach, admini... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Gumperson-s-Law: ...business-jokes: Harrisberger s Fourth ... Harrisberger s Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.Hartley s First Law: You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back, you ve got some... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Harrisberger-s-Fourth ...professional-jokes: HEAVENLY ENGINEER…. An ... HEAVENLY ENGINEER…. An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter checkshis dossier and says: “Ah, you re an engineer, but you worked fora high-tech startup company and got rich. You ve had too good ofa lif... - Tags:
professional,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-HEAVENLY-ENGINEER….-An ...answering-jokes: Hello, this is ... Hello, this is the Computer Music Research Institute of Portland, Oregon. We can t take your call at the moment, but we would like you to leave a critique of one of our current works in progress. BEEP ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello,-this-is ...professional-jokes: HELP DESK HORROR…. ... HELP DESK HORROR…. These are stories from help desks around the country.At 3:37 a.m. on a Sunday, I had just looked at the clockto determine my annoyance level, when I received a franticphone call from a new user of a Ma... - Tags:
professional,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-HELP-DESK-HORROR…. ...idiots-jokes: Idiots on the ... Idiots on the computer Any time you feel dumb, don t worry. Check out the following excerpts from a “Wall Street Journal” article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.1. Compaq is considering changing the c... - Tags:
idiots,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/idiots-jokes-Idiots-on-the ...idiots-jokes: INSULTS…. What is ... INSULTS…. What is the difference between a woman and a computer?- A woman wont except a 3 1/2 inch floppy.A husband asked his wife “why do you where a bra, you have nothingthere anyway” The wife replies ” you wear briefs... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/idiots-jokes-INSULTS….-What-is ...professional-jokes: July 18, 2005THE ... July 18, 2005THE AIG OF TECHNOLOGY…. The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chairbefore he dropped exhausted.His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and acomforting word. “My, ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-July-18,-2005THE ...professional-jokes: LAB RATS VS ... LAB RATS VS COMPUTER PROGRAMMER…. Just for fun, lets compare the conditions of lab rats and thetypical computer programmer:Lab Rats ProgrammersWander through endless Wander through endlessmazes hopelessly searching mazes... - Tags:
professional,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-LAB-RATS-VS ...professional-jokes: MAKES YOU THINK…. ... MAKES YOU THINK…. Take a guess of his age before you get to the end. Good luck.How old is Grandpa?Stay with this - the answer is at the end - it willblow you away.One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather abo... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-MAKES-YOU-THINK…. ...professional-jokes: MCDONNNEL DOUGLAS WARRENTY ... MCDONNNEL DOUGLAS WARRENTY REGISTRATION CARD…. This is funny. If you don t think so you may be upper management atMcDonnell-Douglas.This allegedly was posted very briefly on the McDonnell-DouglasWebsite by an employee th... - Tags:
professional,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-MCDONNNEL-DOUGLAS-WARRENTY ...sport-jokes: Mike Tyson s ... Mike Tyson s Top Ten NO. 10Tyson already has his next fight lined up, with Lorena Bobbitt. Winner eats all.NO. 9This gives new meaning to “box lunch.” NO. 8Reporter: “Evander, what did you think when Tyson bit off your e... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/sport-jokes-Mike-Tyson-s ...oldage-jokes: of the time ... of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.y. You don t drink at home to save money before going to a bar.z. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn t apply to you. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-of-the-time ...school-jokes: of the time ... of the time you spend in front of a computer isfor real work, not video games. * You re actually willing to pay a bit more to drink in abar that s not full of ‘21-year-old kids.* Golf is beginning to seem a lot less sill... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/school-jokes-of-the-time ...business-jokes: Oil-free.•I recently bought ... Oil-free.•I recently bought some cheese singles for sandwiches and got a good laugh. On each individually wrapped slice near the edge of the plastic was printed, “Open Here”. I didn t realize that this was such a problem... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Oil-free.•I-recently-bought ...classic-jokes: Person turns on ... Person turns on the computer without a keyboard plugged in. When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a "Keyboard Error" message. She then asks "Why did it giv... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Person-turns-on ...professional-jokes: profit. Repeating the ... profit. Repeating the processseveral times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 beforegoing to sleep that night. And thus it dawns on him that he couldquite easily make a living selling tomatoes. Getting up early e... - Tags:
professional,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-profit.-Repeating-the ...blondes-jokes: Q. How can ... Q. How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?A. There is white out on the screen. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/blondes-jokes-Q.-How-can ...blondes-jokes: Q. How can ... Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?A. The joystick is wet. ... - Tags:
blondes,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/blondes-jokes-Q.-How-can ...clean-jokes: Q. What did ... Q. What did the spider do on the computer?A. Made a website!... - Tags:
clean,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/clean-jokes-Q.-What-did ...kids-jokes: Q. What did ... Q. What did the spider do on the computer?A. Made a website!... - Tags:
kids,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/kids-jokes-Q.-What-did ...clean-jokes: Q. What do ... Q. What do computers do when they get hungry?A. They eat chips!... - Tags:
clean,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/clean-jokes-Q.-What-do ...kids-jokes: Q. What do ... Q. What do computers do when they get hungry?A. They eat chips!... - Tags:
kids,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/kids-jokes-Q.-What-do ...clean-jokes: Q. What is ... Q. What is a computer s favorite dance? A. Disk-o... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/clean-jokes-Q.-What-is ...kids-jokes: Q. What is ... Q. What is a computer s favorite dance? A. Disk-o... - Tags:
kids,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/kids-jokes-Q.-What-is ...clean-jokes: Q. What is ... Q. What is an astronaut s favorite place on a computer?A. The Space bar!... - Tags:
clean,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/clean-jokes-Q.-What-is ...kids-jokes: Q. What is ... Q. What is an astronaut s favorite place on a computer?A. The Space bar!... - Tags:
kids,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/kids-jokes-Q.-What-is ...clean-jokes: Q. Where did ... Q. Where did the computer go to dance?A. To a disc-o.... - Tags:
clean,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/clean-jokes-Q.-Where-did ...kids-jokes: Q. Where did ... Q. Where did the computer go to dance?A. To a disc-o.... - Tags:
kids,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/kids-jokes-Q.-Where-did ...clean-jokes: Q. Where s ... Q. Where s an astronaut s favourite place on the computer? A. The spacebar!... - Tags:
clean,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/clean-jokes-Q.-Where-s ...kids-jokes: Q. Where s ... Q. Where s an astronaut s favourite place on the computer? A. The spacebar!... - Tags:
kids,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/kids-jokes-Q.-Where-s ...clean-jokes: Q. Why did ... Q. Why did the computer squeak. A. Because someone stepped on it s mouse... - Tags:
clean,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/clean-jokes-Q.-Why-did ...kids-jokes: Q. Why did ... Q. Why did the computer squeak. A. Because someone stepped on it s mouse... - Tags:
kids,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/kids-jokes-Q.-Why-did ...business-jokes: Reasons to leave ... Reasons to leave work 1. Not spending enough quality time with the kitchen applicances.2. Came dressed in only a towel…again.3. Ran out of paper clips.4. I ve decided to telecommute.5. Ambassador to Belgium is at the Whi... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Reasons-to-leave ...business-jokes: Schemmer s Law ... Schemmer s Law (Organization & Programs): When an organization faces a 20 year threat, it responds with 15-year programs, organized with 5-year plans, managed by 3-year directors, and funded by 1-year appropriations.Simm... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Schemmer-s-Law ...science-jokes: Scientific Dictionary THE ... Scientific Dictionary THE LAST WORDThe Ultimate Scientific DictionaryActivation Energy: The useful quantity of energy available in one cup of coffee.Atomic Theory: A mythological explanation of the nature of matter, firs... - Tags:
science,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/science-jokes-Scientific-Dictionary-THE ...business-jokes: Signs Technology Took ... Signs Technology Took Over Your Life 1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Signs-Technology-Took ...idiots-jokes: Stupid people stories ... Stupid people stories IDIOTS & RETAILI was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complet... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/idiots-jokes-Stupid-people-stories ...professional-jokes: TECH SUPPORT…. A ... TECH SUPPORT…. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problemwith her printer. the tech asked her if she was“running it under Windows.” The woman then responded,“No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a goodpoin... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-TECH-SUPPORT….-A ...professional-jokes: TECH SUPPORT…. An ... TECH SUPPORT…. An end user s guide to technical services 1. When a tech says he s coming right over, gofor coffee. It s nothing to us to remember 2700screen saver passwords. 2. When you call us to have your computer move... - Tags:
professional,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-TECH-SUPPORT….-An ...professional-jokes: TECH SUPPORT…. Here ... TECH SUPPORT…. Here are some conversations that actually happened between help deskpeople and their customers. Customer: “You ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print adocument, but the computer won t boot pro... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-TECH-SUPPORT….-Here ...professional-jokes: The 4 engineers ... The 4 engineers Once there were four engineers traveling in a car. While they were traveling to their destination the car stalled on them. Then the first engineer who was a mechanical engineer said, “don t worry its prob... - Tags:
professional,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-The-4-engineers ...xmas-jokes: The politically correct ... The politically correct Christmas On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warr... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/xmas-jokes-The-politically-correct ...xmas-jokes: The politically correct ... The politically correct Christmas On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warr... - Tags:
xmas,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/xmas-jokes-The-politically-correct ...answering-jokes: This is Walter ... This is Walter Cronkite. Bren s not here right now. He s out on a date. The idea of Bren entertaining a girl with his basketball theories and computer knowledge over dinner at Taco Bell should scare the hell out of you. ... - Tags:
answering,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-This-is-Walter ...professional-jokes: TOMATOES…. An unemployed ... TOMATOES…. An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as ajanitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitudetest (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning). After the test, themanager says, “You ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-TOMATOES….-An-unemployed ...topten-jokes: Top Ten Reasons ... Top Ten Reasons To Go To Work Naked...1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.3. "I d love to chip in, but I left my ... - Tags:
topten,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/topten-jokes-Top-Ten-Reasons ...topten-jokes: Top Ten Signs ... Top Ten Signs Your Spouse Is Having A Cyber Affair...10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked.9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette.8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive.7. In the morning, the computer sc... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/topten-jokes-Top-Ten-Signs ...math-jokes: Two plus two ... Two plus two is five First and above all he was a logician. At least thirty-five years of the half-century or so of his existence had been devoted exclusively to proving that two and two always equal four, except in unus... - Tags:
math,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/math-jokes-Two-plus-two ...business-jokes: User Requests 1. ... User Requests 1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children s art. We don t have l... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-User-Requests-1. ...oldage-jokes: VIAGRA QUICKIES…. A ... VIAGRA QUICKIES…. A man at a nursing home took Viagra and went to the lunch room,where the residents were playing Bingo. To get their attention heyelled out, “SUPER SEX!, Super Sex!”The ladies yelled back: “I want the SO... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-VIAGRA-QUICKIES….-A ...business-jokes: Whistler s Law: ... Whistler s Law: You never know who is right, but you always know who is in charge.Whitehead s Law: The obvious answer is always overlooked.William s Law: There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solv... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Whistler-s-Law: ...animals-jokes: Windows 95 Why ... Windows 95 Why can t dogs use computers?Because you can t stick your head out of Windows 95... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Windows-95-Why ...answering-jokes: You have reached ... You have reached 843-4734. Please hold while I process your call. (Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system performed a trace on your number and was able to match it with our list of important callers. None of... - Tags:
answering,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-You-have-reached ...sms-jokes: “The Web brings ... “The Web brings people together because no matter what kindof a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you ve gotmillions of pals out there. If you type ‘Find people who havesex with goats that are on fire , the compute... - Tags:
sms,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/sms-jokes-“The-Web-brings ...short-jokes: “The Web brings ... “The Web brings people together because no matter what kindof a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you ve gotmillions of pals out there. If you type ‘Find people who havesex with goats that are on fire , the compute... - Tags:
short,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/short-jokes-“The-Web-brings ...oneliners-jokes: “The Web brings ... “The Web brings people together because no matter what kindof a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you ve gotmillions of pals out there. If you type ‘Find people who havesex with goats that are on fire , the compute... - Tags:
oneliners,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oneliners-jokes-“The-Web-brings ...
