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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-burglar-breaks ...classic-jokes: A carpet installer ... A carpet installer decides to take a cigarette break after completing the installation in the first of several rooms he has to do. Finding them missing from his pocket he begins searching, only to notice a small lump in ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-carpet-installer ...classic-jokes: A cowboy rode ... A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went bac... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-cowboy-rode ...classic-jokes: A few days ... A few days after Christmas, A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son yell "All you sons of bitches who want... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-few-days ...classic-jokes: A group of ... A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive gu... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-group-of ...classic-jokes: A guy sticks ... A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in th... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-guy-sticks ...classic-jokes: A guy walks ... A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice "13.......13.......13.........13" the man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moa... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-guy-walks ...classic-jokes: A highly timid ... A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?" A giant of a man, wearing biker leat... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-highly-timid ...classic-jokes: A hobo comes ... A hobo comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, "Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven t had a good meal in se... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-hobo-comes ...classic-jokes: A man and ... A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop says to the man, "Do you know that you were speeding?" The man replies, "No sir, I didn t know I was speeding." The mans wife then yells, "... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-man-and ...classic-jokes: A man comes ... A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he say... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-man-comes ...classic-jokes: A man hasn ... A man hasn t been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I m afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You re dying, and you don t ha... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-man-hasn ...classic-jokes: A man in ... A man in his 40 s bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped u... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-man-in ...classic-jokes: A man is ... A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him hal... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-man-is ...classic-jokes: A man is ... A man is walking down the street and he sees a boy riding a wagon. The boy has his dog pulling it with a rope attached to the dogs balls. The man says "You know if you tied it around his neck, it would go faster." The bo... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-man-is ...sport-jokes: A man is ... A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he hears a woman screaming and detects a faint smell of burning in the air. He runs down the street and around a corner and sees a huge group of people standing watching a ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-man-lay ...classic-jokes: A man walked ... A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Von Bernuth, and sat down to explain his problem. "Doctor, doctor!" he started. "No need to repeat yourself, my good man," replied the doctor. "One doctor is... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-man-walked ...classic-jokes: A man walks ... A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there s a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-man-walks ...classic-jokes: A man went ... A man went to a pet shop and bought a talking parrot. He took the parrot home, and tried to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead the parrot just swore at him. After a few hours of trying to teach the bir... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-man-went ...classic-jokes: A man went ... A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you." "Oh, great," he sa... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-man-went ...classic-jokes: A mother found ... A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."Son : "But mom, there s no one to play with."Mom : "I ll play with ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-mother-found ...classic-jokes: A philosophy professor ... A philosophy professor stood before her class and had some items in front of her. When the class began, silently she picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks. She then asked the students... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-philosophy-professor ...classic-jokes: A policeman was ... A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver s seat reading a computer magazine and a yo... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-policeman-was ...classic-jokes: A popular airline ... A popular airline recently introduced a special half rate fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting great feedback, the company sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had us... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-popular-airline ...classic-jokes: A priest walked ... A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord." The next morning, the barber came to work... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-priest-walked ...classic-jokes: A soldier was ... A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo. To help him, he hired an Indian Scout. The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo. After riding awhile, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear to the... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-soldier-was ...classic-jokes: A well dressed ... A well dressed business man was walking down the street when a little kid covered in soot said to him respectfully, "Sir, can you tell me the time?" The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat and jacket, remov... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-well-dressed ...classic-jokes: A woman in ... A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered all over Bloomingda... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-woman-in ...classic-jokes: A woman was ... A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I m sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you ll forgive me.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-woman-was ...classic-jokes: A woman was ... A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It s the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mothe... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-woman-was ...classic-jokes: A young blind ... A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wak... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-young-blind ...classic-jokes: A young bride ... A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me," she asked the rathe... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-young-bride ...classic-jokes: A young couple ... A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left open.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-young-couple ...classic-jokes: An 80 year ... An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doc... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-An-80-year ...classic-jokes: An artist asked ... An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I ve got good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work an... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-An-artist-asked ...classic-jokes: An eight-year-old boy ... An eight-year-old boy went into a grocery store and picked out a large box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I m going to wa... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-An-eight-year-old-boy ...classic-jokes: An elderly widow ... An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn t remember what her answer was! "Was she h... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-An-elderly-widow ...classic-jokes: Bernie was invited ... Bernie was invited to his friend s home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and rema... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Bernie-was-invited ...classic-jokes: Bubba was from ... Bubba was from the lower valley, and he decided he wanted to get married to his sweetheart. So, while enjoying some grits and gravy for dinner one evening, Bubba brought up the subject with his Ma and Pa. "Bubba, you can... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Bubba-was-from ...cartoon-jokes: donald vs daffy ... donald vs daffy Claim: In the “dueling pianos” scene of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Donald Duck calls Daffy Duck a ‘nigger. Status: False. Synopsis: The power of suggestion at work once again, turning an innocuous ut... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/cartoon-jokes-donald-vs-daffy ...classic-jokes: During their silver ... During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn t talk for an hour?" The hubby replied: "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of m... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-During-their-silver ...classic-jokes: How about the ... How about the two old men, one a retired professor of psychology and the other a retired professor of history. Their wives had talked them into a two week stay at a hotel in the Catskills. They were sitting around on the... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-How-about-the ...classic-jokes: It was the ... It was the day of the big sale. Rumours of the sale and some advertising in the local paper were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30 in the morning in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to t... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-It-was-the ...classic-jokes: Jones came into ... Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What s the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let s hear a good excuse for a change."Jones sighed... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Jones-came-into ...classic-jokes: Junior had just ... Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behin... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Junior-had-just ...classic-jokes: Little Johnny s ... Little Johnny s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and as... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Little-Johnny-s ...classic-jokes: Mr.Johnson and his ... Mr.Johnson and his secretary are on a train to Paris. They are just about to go to sleep when the secretary, who has the hots for her boss says in a seductive voice, I m a little cold, could I borrow your blanket? The ma... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Mr.Johnson-and-his ...classic-jokes: On Christmas morning ... On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-On-Christmas-morning ...classic-jokes: Once there was ... Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.One day, the millionaire decides to throw a huge ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Once-there-was ...classic-jokes: One day a ... One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can t do it because he s her half brother. The same problem happens again f... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-One-day-a ...classic-jokes: One day an ... One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son whenever a Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees... Why do you as... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-One-day-an ...classic-jokes: One day these ... One day these two fine southern ladies were sittin on the front porch having some iced tea. One of the women sticks out her hand for the other woman to see, and in her long southern drawl says "Look at this ring my husb... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-One-day-these ...classic-jokes: One night, Tim ... One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Tim and the thief were began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Tim put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-One-night,-Tim ...classic-jokes: Person turns on ... Person turns on the computer without a keyboard plugged in. When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a "Keyboard Error" message. She then asks "Why did it giv... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Person-turns-on ...celebrity-jokes: Steven Spielberg was ... Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room. "Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruc... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/celebrity-jokes-Steven-Spielberg-was ...classic-jokes: The new employee ... The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused. "Need some help?" a secretary, walking by, asked. "Yes," he replied, "how does this thing work?" "Simple," she said, taking the fat report from his hand ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-The-new-employee ...classic-jokes: The patient says, ... The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!"Doctor replies, "You ve got AIDS.""Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient."You ve also got Alzheimer s Disease."Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...We... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-The-patient-says, ...classic-jokes: The teacher of ... The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading. He spent the class explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes. Towards the end of class, the teacher asked his students, "Suppose I ask... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-The-teacher-of ...classic-jokes: The widow takes ... The widow takes a look at her dear departed one right before the funeral and, to her horror, finds that he s in his brown suit. She d specifically said to the undertaker that she wanted him buried in his blue suit; she d... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-The-widow-takes ...classic-jokes: The young clerk ... The young clerk s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he ha... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-The-young-clerk ...classic-jokes: There was a ... There was a boy who worked in the produce section of a super market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-There-was-a ...classic-jokes: There were these ... There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is a magic pool just outs... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-There-were-these ...classic-jokes: This is why ... This is why I didn t show up for work yesterday. I was cleaning out my wife s grandpa s cellar and found 12 bottles of his home-bottled grape wine under the steps. My wife told me to empty the contents of each and every ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-This-is-why ...classic-jokes: Tom had this ... Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill an... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Tom-had-this ...gender-jokes: TRAINING COURSE FOR ... TRAINING COURSE FOR WOMEN…. TO ALL WOMEN, REGISTER BEFORE IT S TOO LATE. SPACES ARE LIMITED.Women think they already know everything, but wait,… trainingcourses are now available for women on the following subjects:1. Si... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/gender-jokes-TRAINING-COURSE-FOR ...classic-jokes: Two guys and ... Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, "Jes... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Two-guys-and ...classic-jokes: Two guys rob ... Two guys rob a store, they burst out the door running as they hear the sirens of cop cars coming closer. The two dive into two separate bushes hoping they won t get caught. Soon the cop cars stop near the bushes and the ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Two-guys-rob ...classic-jokes: Two old ladies ... Two old ladies have played bridge together for many years, and naturally they have gotten to know each other pretty well. One day, during a game of cards, one lady suddenly looks up at the other and says, "I realize we v... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Two-old-ladies ...classic-jokes: Two women that ... Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman : "My dos is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. Sec... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-Two-women-that ...classic-jokes: While proudly showing ... While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "Ho... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-While-proudly-showing ...gender-jokes: WHY ARE MEN ... WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?…. Answers given by a man-It s a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we mensuffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the averagelifespan of a male is typically 10 years s... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/gender-jokes-WHY-ARE-MEN ...classic-jokes: You know there ... You know there are starving people in those third world countries, and you re just wasting that food. Then package it up and ship it to em if you re so concerned you dumb shit!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-You-know-there ...
