business-jokes: , if it ... , if it does oscillate at all. Seventh Law - When the prototype has been fully assembled according to lab instructions, a minimum of 11 components are left.Cutler Webster s Law: There are two sides to every argument, unl... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-,-if-it ...business-jokes: . Either a ... . Either a thing will happen or it won t.All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.All syllogisms have three parts; therefore this is not a syllogism.All the world is a stage and most o... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-.-Either-a ...business-jokes: . Either a ... . Either a thing will happen or it won t.Colvard s Unconscionable Commentary: This is especially true when dealing with someone you re attracted to.Conway s Law: In any organization, there will always be one person who k... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-.-Either-a ...business-jokes: 1. Act out ... 1. Act out your version of a company takeover.2. Find a way to change everyone s password to “chrysanthemum”.3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going until you se... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-1.-Act-out ...blondes-jokes: A blonde walks ... A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of securi... - Tags:
blondes,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/blondes-jokes-A-blonde-walks ...adult-jokes: A businessman and ... A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, go to his house for an early afternoon quickie. "Don t worry," he assures her, "my wife is out of town on a business trip, so there s no risk." As one thing leads to ... - Tags:
adult,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-A-businessman-and ...dirty-jokes: A businessman and ... A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, go to his house for an early afternoon quickie. "Don t worry," he assures her, "my wife is out of town on a business trip, so there s no risk." As one thing leads to ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/dirty-jokes-A-businessman-and ...adult-jokes: A businessman and ... A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, retire to his house for what is popularly termed a "nooner." "Don t worry," he purrs. "My wife is out of town on a business trip, there s no risk." As one thing leads... - Tags:
adult,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-A-businessman-and ...dirty-jokes: A businessman and ... A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, retire to his house for what is popularly termed a "nooner." "Don t worry," he purrs. "My wife is out of town on a business trip, there s no risk." As one thing leads... - Tags:
dirty,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/dirty-jokes-A-businessman-and ...bar-jokes: A businessman enters ... A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. A... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/bar-jokes-A-businessman-enters ...business-jokes: A committee is ... A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. - Milton BerleA committee is twelve men doing the work of one.A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.A consensus means that everyone agrees to... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-A-committee-is ...business-jokes: A day without ... A day without sunshine is like night.A disagreeable task is its own reward.A donkey is a horse designed by a study team.A fail-safe circuit will destroy others.A flying particle will seek the nearest eye.A fool and his m... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-A-day-without ...adult-jokes: A dog, a ... A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don t think so, my master makes me do my business ... - Tags:
adult,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-A-dog,-a ...dirty-jokes: A dog, a ... A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don t think so, my master makes me do my business ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/dirty-jokes-A-dog,-a ...business-jokes: A friend of ... A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission.Repeated requests for repair brought only promises.After several days,... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-A-friend-of ...business-jokes: A GOOD SALESMAN…. ... A GOOD SALESMAN…. When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed hisclerk s hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about thebandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him.“Guess what, sir?” the cl... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-A-GOOD-SALESMAN…. ...business-jokes: A good scapegoat ... A good scapegoat is hard to find.A good slogan can stop analysis for fifty years.A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem.A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.A little ambiguity nev... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-A-good-scapegoat ...adult-jokes: A guy went ... A guy went out hunting. He had all the gear, the jacket, the boots and the double-barreled shotgun. As he was climbing over a fence, he dropped the gun and it went off, right on his penis. Obviously, he had to see a doct... - Tags:
adult,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-A-guy-went ...dirty-jokes: A guy went ... A guy went out hunting. He had all the gear, the jacket, the boots and the double-barreled shotgun. As he was climbing over a fence, he dropped the gun and it went off, right on his penis. Obviously, he had to see a doct... - Tags:
dirty,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/dirty-jokes-A-guy-went ...animals-jokes: A KITTY FROM ... A KITTY FROM HEAVEN…. –AN AMAZING CAT STORY: A man recently told a story about the pastor of his church: He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard andthen was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offeredw... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-KITTY-FROM ...classic-jokes: A man and ... A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop says to the man, "Do you know that you were speeding?" The man replies, "No sir, I didn t know I was speeding." The mans wife then yells, "... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-man-and ...idiots-jokes: A man walked ... A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police... - Tags:
idiots,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/idiots-jokes-A-man-walked ...business-jokes: A man walks ... A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. “Sorry, we don t need anyone…” they replied.“You can t afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anything anytime!”“Well, we have two prospects that no one has been... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-A-man-walks ...business-jokes: A memorandum is ... A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to put in his mouth.A... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-A-memorandum-is ...adult-jokes: A Mom is ... A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?" The mother looks over at the little girl, "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age, it isn ... - Tags:
adult,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-A-Mom-is ...dirty-jokes: A Mom is ... A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?" The mother looks over at the little girl, "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age, it isn ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/dirty-jokes-A-Mom-is ...business-jokes: A motorist, driving ... A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. “Oh, about $200 t... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-A-motorist,-driving ...adult-jokes: A pirate walks ... A pirate walks off his ship. He has a wooden leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over his right eye. He sits down on a bench, and begins throwing peanuts to the seagulls. Two curious young children shyly sit down next to... - Tags:
adult,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-A-pirate-walks ...dirty-jokes: A pirate walks ... A pirate walks off his ship. He has a wooden leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over his right eye. He sits down on a bench, and begins throwing peanuts to the seagulls. Two curious young children shyly sit down next to... - Tags:
dirty,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/dirty-jokes-A-pirate-walks ...classic-jokes: A popular airline ... A popular airline recently introduced a special half rate fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting great feedback, the company sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had us... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-popular-airline ...business-jokes: A President of ... A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.A bad day fishing is ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-A-President-of ...crazy-jokes: A psychotherapist was ... A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. So much so that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him & pu... - Tags:
crazy,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/crazy-jokes-A-psychotherapist-was ...adult-jokes: A salesman in ... A salesman in a strange city was feeling horny and wanted release. He inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to go to 225 West 42nd St. By mistake, he went to 255 West 42nd St, the office of ... - Tags:
adult,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-A-salesman-in ...dirty-jokes: A salesman in ... A salesman in a strange city was feeling horny and wanted release. He inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to go to 225 West 42nd St. By mistake, he went to 255 West 42nd St, the office of ... - Tags:
dirty,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/dirty-jokes-A-salesman-in ...business-jokes: A stagnant science ... A stagnant science is at a standstill.A theory is better than its explanation.A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake t... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-A-stagnant-science ...business-jokes: A tight travel ... A tight travel budget All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy.MemorandumTo: All EmployeesFrom: HeadquartersSubject: Business Travel Policy GuidelinesDate: June 16, 2000Due to fiscal co... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-A-tight-travel ...adult-jokes: A waitress walks ... A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" O... - Tags:
adult,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-A-waitress-walks ...dirty-jokes: A waitress walks ... A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" O... - Tags:
dirty,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/dirty-jokes-A-waitress-walks ...business-jokes: A walking economy ... A walking economy This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, “I m a walking economy.”The friend asks, “How so?”“My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-A-walking-economy ...classic-jokes: A well dressed ... A well dressed business man was walking down the street when a little kid covered in soot said to him respectfully, "Sir, can you tell me the time?" The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat and jacket, remov... - Tags:
classic,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/classic-jokes-A-well-dressed ...business-jokes: A woman goes ... A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week, company trainingsession. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes herto have a good trip. The wife answers, “Thank you honey, whatwould you like me to bring him for you... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-A-woman-goes ...religion-jokes: A young boy ... A young boy is doing poorly in math at public school. His mother decides to send him to private school to rectify the situation. Lo and behold, after a semester in the new private Catholic school, the boy s grades were s... - Tags:
religion,
religious,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/religion-religious-jokes-A-young-boy ...business-jokes: Acheson s Rule ... Acheson s Rule Of The Bureaucracy: A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer. - Dean AchesonAction s Law: Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.Adler s Distinction: ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Acheson-s-Rule ...business-jokes: After all is ... After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.After any unit has been completely assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.Afternoon: that part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted t... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-After-all-is ...cartoon-jokes: after this movie ... after this movie was released!The Jungle Book:1.) One of the main causes of illiteracy. It doesn t look like a “book” to me.The Rescuers:1.) Only makes kids want to be kidnapped, in hopes that some fucking rodents will ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/cartoon-jokes-after-this-movie ...professional-jokes: AIRLINE COMMENTS…. Sometimes, ... AIRLINE COMMENTS…. Sometimes, the crew of airliners make an effort to bit moreentertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard orreported:1…On a Continental Flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew... - Tags:
professional,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-AIRLINE-COMMENTS….-Sometimes, ...business-jokes: All I ask ... All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way.All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt DisneyAll probabil... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-All-I-ask ...business-jokes: All warranties expire ... All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.All work and no play, will make you a manager.Almost everything in life is easier to get into than to get out of.Always hire a rich attorney.Always leave room to add an expla... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-All-warranties-expire ...business-jokes: Ambition is a ... Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.An executive will always return to work from lunch early if no one takes him.An error in the premise will appear in the conclusion.An object at rest will a... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Ambition-is-a ...adult-jokes: An American businessman ... An American businessman was in Japan. He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her. She kept screaming "Fujifoo, Fugifoo!!!", which the guy took to be pleasurable.. The next day, he was golfing with his... - Tags:
adult,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-An-American-businessman ...dirty-jokes: An American businessman ... An American businessman was in Japan. He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her. She kept screaming "Fujifoo, Fugifoo!!!", which the guy took to be pleasurable.. The next day, he was golfing with his... - Tags:
dirty,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/dirty-jokes-An-American-businessman ...business-jokes: An American manufacturer ... An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building.“Your workers, ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-An-American-manufacturer ...lawyer-jokes: An elderly patient ... An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, "We have three possible donors. The first donor is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident. The... - Tags:
lawyer,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/lawyer-jokes-An-elderly-patient ...gender-jokes: An Indecent Proposal ... An Indecent Proposal The train was travelling along when a beautiful young woman entered the compartment which was deserted except for a businessman reading his paper.The man peered over his paper and asked “Would you le... - Tags:
gender,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/gender-jokes-An-Indecent-Proposal ...business-jokes: Anthony s Law ... Anthony s Law of Force: Don t force it, get a larger hammer.Anthony s Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner or the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any drop... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Anthony-s-Law ...business-jokes: Any change looks ... Any change looks terrible at first.Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of the most harm.Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.Any given program, when running, is obsolete.Any good s... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Any-change-looks ...business-jokes: Any minimum criteria ... Any minimum criteria set will be the maximum value used.Any producing entity is the last to use its own product.Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.Any smoothly functioning technology is indistingu... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Any-minimum-criteria ...business-jokes: Any wire cut ... Any wire cut to length will be too short.Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.Anyone can admit they were wrong; the true test is admitting it to someone else.Anyone who is popular is bound to be dis... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Any-wire-cut ...business-jokes: Anything is possible, ... Anything is possible, but nothing is easy.Anything labeled “New” and/or “Improved” isn t. The label means the price went up. The label “All New”, “Completely New”, or “Great New” means the price went way up.Anything that... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Anything-is-possible, ...business-jokes: AOL Sales Rep ... AOL Sales Rep from Hell I live in Berlin, Germany and asked a friend in the U.S. per email to call American Online in the States and have them send their AOL install diskettes to me at my Berlin address. My friend called... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-AOL-Sales-Rep ...business-jokes: Approval Seeker s ... Approval Seeker s Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least. - Washington writer Rozanne WeissmanThe Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don t.Army Axiom: Any order that can be misun... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Approval-Seeker-s ...april-jokes: April Fool s ... April Fool s Day Stories April Fool s Day is a day for all of us to have some fun and play a few jokes on our friends or even on strangers.Newspapers, radio stations, and even large companies have their share of fun, as ... - Tags:
april,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/april-fool-jokes-April-Fool-s ...business-jokes: AS I VE ... AS I VE MATURED…. I ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can dois stalk them and hope they panic and give in.I ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are justassholes.I ve learned tha... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-AS-I-VE ...business-jokes: As the economy ... As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens.Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups.At any level of traffic,... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-As-the-economy ...religion-jokes: As you are ... As you are receiving e-mail, it s wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally and with serious consequences.Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-fill... - Tags:
religion,
religious,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/religion-religious-jokes-As-you-are ...idiots-jokes: August 10, 2005INSULTS…. ... August 10, 2005INSULTS…. They just invented a new coffin just for you that goes over thehead. It s for people who are dead from the neck up.They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who isgood-looking, intellig... - Tags:
idiots,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/idiots-jokes-August-10,-2005INSULTS…. ...business-jokes: August 10, 2005THE ... August 10, 2005THE BOTHERSOME CUSTOMER…. A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, heasked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was toohot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-August-10,-2005THE ...business-jokes: August 11, 2005FLOWER ... August 11, 2005FLOWER SHOW…. Two old men were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hallwhere a flower show was in progress. One leaned over the other and said,“Cripes! Life is boring. We never have any fun thes... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-August-11,-2005FLOWER ...business-jokes: August 12, 2005warning ... August 12, 2005warning These product warnings and instructions are proof that there must be a lot of stupid people in the world. Seen a funny one? Send it in!•I once bought a small calculator that had the following:WARNI... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-August-12,-2005warning ...business-jokes: August 17, 2005Real ... August 17, 2005Real Business Signs On an Electrician s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.”In a Non-smoking area: “If we see you smoking we will assume y... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-August-17,-2005Real ...business-jokes: August 8, 2005LITTLE ... August 8, 2005LITTLE RED RIDING HO…. Once upon a time. Little Red Riding Hood s mother (beingconcerned about the increase in violence in rural America)gave Little Red a .45 caliber gun for protection. Little Redkept this... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-August-8,-2005LITTLE ...fishing-jokes: August 9, 2005FISH ... August 9, 2005FISH IN BOSTON A Chicago salesman on a business trip to Boston hada few hours to kill before catching a plane home.Remembering an old friend s advice to try some broiledscrod, a favorite fish in Boston, he ... - Tags:
fishing,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/fishing-jokes-August-9,-2005FISH ...business-jokes: August 9, 2005TIPS ... August 9, 2005TIPS FOR SUCCESS IN BUSINESS…. 1 Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.People with documents in their hands look like hardworkingemployees heading for important meetings. People with not... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-August-9,-2005TIPS ...business-jokes: Bad Japanese economy ... Bad Japanese economy According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it s getting worse.Following last week s news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Bad-Japanese-economy ...business-jokes: Bank customer service ... Bank customer service “I m not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance … she leaned over and pushed me.” ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Bank-customer-service ...business-jokes: Beauty is only ... Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes clear to the bone.Before you give a colleague a piece of your mind, be sure you can spare it.Being a good communicator means people find out what is really wrong with you.Believing is ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Beauty-is-only ...business-jokes: BEETHOVEN S NINTH…. ... BEETHOVEN S NINTH…. The Boston Symphony Orchestra was performing Beethoven s NinthSymphony. In the piece, there s a long passage, about 20 minutes,during which the bass violinists have nothing to do.Rather than sit aroun... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-BEETHOVEN-S-NINTH…. ...business-jokes: Berra s Law: ... Berra s Law: You can observe a lot just by watching. - Yogi BerraBierman s Laws of Contracts: (1) In any given document, you can t cover all the “what if s”. (2) Lawyers stay in business resolving all the unresolved “wha... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Berra-s-Law: ...business-jokes: Beware the fury ... Beware the fury of a patient man. - John DrydenBeware the man of one book. - St. Thomas AquinasBeware the wrath of a patient person.Blessed are those who go around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels.Blessed is... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Beware-the-fury ...school-jokes: BIG MAN IN ... BIG MAN IN A SMALL TOWN…. Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend collegeand law school. He decided to come back to the small town becausehe could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted toimpres... - Tags:
school,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/school-jokes-BIG-MAN-IN ...xmas-jokes: Billy Gates writes ... Billy Gates writes to Santa Dear Santa,How are you doing? I hope you ve had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It s really neat how you re able to do that year after year. I guess that s h... - Tags:
xmas,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/xmas-jokes-Billy-Gates-writes ...xmas-jokes: Billy Gates writes ... Billy Gates writes to Santa Dear Santa,How are you doing? I hope you ve had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It s really neat how you re able to do that year after year. I guess that s h... - Tags:
xmas,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/xmas-jokes-Billy-Gates-writes ...business-jokes: Bosses versus workers ... Bosses versus workers When I take a long time, I am slow.When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.When I don t do it, I am lazy.When my boss doesn t do it, he s too busy.When I do it without being told, I m trying ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Bosses-versus-workers ...business-jokes: Boucher s Observation: ... Boucher s Observation: He who blows his own horn always plays the music several octaves higher than originally written.Bove s Theorem: The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline ap... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Boucher-s-Observation: ...business-jokes: Bureau Termination, Law ... Bureau Termination, Law of: When a government bureau is scheduled to be phased out, the number of employees in that bureau will double within 12 months after the decision is made.Brooke s Law: Whenever a system becomes c... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Bureau-Termination,-Law ...adult-jokes: Business was good ... Business was good at the local whorehouse and the madam decided to partition one of larger rooms. After the work was complete the carpenter asked for payment but was put off. After several weeks he still hadn t been paid... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-Business-was-good ...dirty-jokes: Business was good ... Business was good at the local whorehouse and the madam decided to partition one of larger rooms. After the work was complete the carpenter asked for payment but was put off. After several weeks he still hadn t been paid... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/dirty-jokes-Business-was-good ...business-jokes: BUSINESSMEN JOKES…. A ... BUSINESSMEN JOKES…. A businessman walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialingnumbers… like a telephone… on his hand and talking into hishand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very toughneighborhood ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-BUSINESSMEN-JOKES….-A ...business-jokes: By the time ... By the time you can make ends meet, they ve moved the ends.By the time you have the right answers, no one is asking you questions.By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to work twelve hours a day.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-By-the-time ...school-jokes: Changing Schools. A ... Changing Schools. A ten year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis; but to no avail.Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a pri... - Tags:
school,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/school-jokes-Changing-Schools.-A ...business-jokes: Clovis Consideration ... Clovis Consideration of an Atmospheric Anomaly: The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated than by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere, bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.Cohn s La... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Clovis--Consideration ...business-jokes: Common sense is ... Common sense is not so common.Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough. - Descartes, 1637Communication with the dead is only a little more difficult than communicat... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Common-sense-is ...professional-jokes: Comprehending Engineers - ... Comprehending Engineers - Take One============================Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,“Where did you get such a great bike?”The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking alon... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-Comprehending-Engineers-- ...oldage-jokes: conductor and a ... conductor and a violist A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?The conductor. Business before pleasure. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-conductor-and-a ...business-jokes: Consciousness: that annoying ... Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.Cop-out number 1. You should have seen it when I got it.Create a need and fill it.Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.Creativity is no substitute for knowing what ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Consciousness:-that-annoying ...business-jokes: Cropp s Law: ... Cropp s Law: The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.Bo Diddeley s Observation On The Law: Always take a lawyer with you, and bring another lawyer to watch him.Bolub s Fourth ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Cropp-s-Law: ...business-jokes: CURE FOR THE ... CURE FOR THE COMMON COLD…. “It s just a cold,” the doctor said. “There is no cure, and you lljust have to live with it until it goes away.”“But Doctor,” the patient whined, “it s making me so miserable.”The doctor rolled... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-CURE-FOR-THE ...business-jokes: Daughter in college ... Daughter in college Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter s college education?As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away i... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Daughter-in-college ...medical-jokes: day but Thursday,” ... day but Thursday,” replied the supervisor. “What s wrong with Thursday?” “Thursday is your day in the barrel.”A guy stops to talk to a beautiful woman standing alone by a bus stop. “Hello, I must say, you are about the m... - Tags:
medical,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/medical-jokes-day-but-Thursday,” ...business-jokes: Democracy is that ... Democracy is that form of government where everybody gets what the majority deserves.Diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to “get lost” in such a way that they look forward to the trip.Diplomacy is the art of letting... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Democracy-is-that ...business-jokes: Divyas Jokes #5 ... Divyas Jokes #5 Ten things NOT to say to a cop when you re pulled over.10. Back off Barney, I ve got a piece.9. Wanta race to the station, Sparky?8. I know I was weaving, but I can t find the Honeycomb Hideout!7. On the ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Divyas-Jokes-#5 ...business-jokes: Don t bite ... Don t bite the hand that has your paycheck in it.Don t blame me; nobody asked my opinion.Don t do today that which can be put off till tomorrow.Don t force it, get a bigger hammer.Don t get lost in the shuffle, shuffle a... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Don-t-bite ...business-jokes: Don t stop ... Don t stop to stomp on ants when the elephants are stampeding.Don t try to have the last word; you might get it.Don t worry about the sand in the Vaseline, they don t use it anyway.Due to recent budget cuts and downsizin... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Don-t-stop ...religion-jokes: During a Papal ... During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will don... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/religion-religious-jokes-During-a-Papal ...business-jokes: Eighty percent of ... Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average.Enough research will tend to support your theory.Entropy has us outnumbered.Error is often more earnest than truth.Even a stopped clock is right twice ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Eighty-percent-of ...business-jokes: Employee want ad ... Employee want ad translations Energetic self-starter: You ll be working on commission.Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Employee-want-ad ...business-jokes: Equation of earnings ... Equation of earnings The EquationEngineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof has been developed that explains why this is true:Postulate 1: Knowledge i... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Equation-of-earnings ...business-jokes: Everybody should believe ... Everybody should believe in something, I believe I ll have another beer.Everybody s gotta be someplace.Everyone breaks more than the seven-year-bad-luck allotment to cover rotten luck throughout an entire lifetime.Everyo... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Everybody-should-believe ...business-jokes: Everybody, somebody, anybody, ... Everybody, somebody, anybody, and nobody This is the story of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Anybody could have done it... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Everybody,-somebody,-anybody, ...business-jokes: Everything is always ... Everything is always done for the wrong reasons.Everything put together sooner or later falls apart.Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.Everything takes longer than you think.Everything tastes... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Everything-is-always ...business-jokes: Exceptions prove the ... Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.Excuses are like bodies; everybody has one!Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.Experience is something you do not get until just after you... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Exceptions-prove-the ...business-jokes: Fake two dollar ... Fake two dollar bill On my way home from the second job I ve taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I ha... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Fake-two-dollar ...business-jokes: Familiarity breeds attempt.Familiarity ... Familiarity breeds attempt.Familiarity breeds children.Far-away talent always seems better than home-developed talent.Fill what is empty; empty what is full; scratch where it itches.For every “10? there are 10 “1 s”.For ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Familiarity-breeds-attempt.Familiarity ...parents-jokes: Fathers then & ... Fathers then & now Today is one of the first Father s Days of our new millennium. Fathers of 1900 didn t have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages:In 1900, fathers prayed their childr... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/parents-jokes-Fathers-then-& ...business-jokes: Fifth Law of ... Fifth Law of Applied Terror: If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. Corollary: If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.Fifth Law of Procrastination: Procrastination avoid... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Fifth-Law-of ...business-jokes: First Law of ... First Law of Bicycling: No matter which way you ride, it s uphill and against the wind.First Law of Procrastination: Procrastination shortens the job and places the responsibility for its termination on someone else (i.e... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-First-Law-of ...business-jokes: Flugg s Law: ... Flugg s Law: When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.Fourth Law of Applied Terror: The night before the English History mid-term, your Biology instru... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Flugg-s-Law: ...business-jokes: For every problem, ... For every problem, there is a neat, plain solution…and it is always wrong.For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision.Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places.Free advice costs ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-For-every-problem, ...business-jokes: Galbraith s Law ... Galbraith s Law of Human Nature: Faced with the choice between changing one s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everybody gets busy on the proof.Gerrold s Laws of Infernal Dynamics: 1. An object in ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Galbraith-s-Law ...gender-jokes: GENDER DEFINITIONS…. Wants ... GENDER DEFINITIONS…. Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n.female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical andpsychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.male: Food, sex and beer.Thingy (thing-ee) ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/gender-jokes-GENDER-DEFINITIONS….-Wants ...business-jokes: Generally, this will ... Generally, this will not be a concern until you are promoted to an executive position. But once you ve created the illusion that you serve even the slightest purpose at your place of “business,” there s no telling how fa... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Generally,-this-will ...adult-jokes: George and Harriet ... George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-George-and-Harriet ...dirty-jokes: George and Harriet ... George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/dirty-jokes-George-and-Harriet ...business-jokes: Given a bad ... Given a bad start, trouble will increase at an exponential rate.Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever.Go where the money is.Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.Good judg... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Given-a-bad ...business-jokes: Goebel s Second ... Goebel s Second Law Of Useless Difficulty: The fastest way to get something done is to determine that it isn t worth doing.Goebel s Law Of Computer Support: Troubleshooting a computer over the telephone is like having se... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Goebel-s-Second ...business-jokes: Gold s Law: ... Gold s Law: If the shoe fits, it s uglyGoldenstern s Rules: 1. Always hire a rich attorney. 2. Never buy from a rich salesman.Golden Rule Of Arts And Sciences: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.Gordian Maxim: If a str... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Gold-s-Law: ...sport-jokes: Golf Clubs There ... Golf Clubs There was a businesswoman who just made a million dollars for an Arabian Oil Sheik. When she was leaving the Oil Sheik offered her Diamonds and rubies and a Silver-plated Rolls Royce, but she declined.The Shei... - Tags:
sport,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/sport-jokes-Golf-Clubs-There ...business-jokes: Government s Law: ... Government s Law: There is an exception to all laws.Grabel s Law: 2 is not equal to 3, not even for large values of 2.Gray s Law of Programming: ‘n+1 trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same time as ‘n ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Government-s-Law: ...business-jokes: GREETING CARD…. At ... GREETING CARD…. At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking atthe cards, finally shaking her head, “No.”A clerk came over and asked, “May I help you?”“I don t know,” said the woman. “Do you have any ‘Sorry... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-GREETING-CARD….-At ...business-jokes: Gumperson s Law: ... Gumperson s Law: The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.H. L. Mencken s Law: Those who can, do. Those who can t, teach. Martin s Extension: Those who cannot teach, admini... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Gumperson-s-Law: ...business-jokes: Hard work has ... Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?Has anyone ever heard of a self-made failure?Have you flogged your crew today?He who beats his sword into a plows... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Hard-work-has ...business-jokes: Harrisberger s Fourth ... Harrisberger s Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.Hartley s First Law: You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back, you ve got some... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Harrisberger-s-Fourth ...business-jokes: He who shouts ... He who shouts the loudest has the floor.He who walks in another s tracks leaves no footprints.Hindsight is an exact science.History is the science of what never happens twice.History repeats itself. That is one of the th... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-He-who-shouts ...business-jokes: HITCHHIKING…. A long-haired ... HITCHHIKING…. A long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the deep South. Hegot a ride from a mean-looking redneck trucker. After ridingabout 30 miles in silence, the youth finally said, “Well, aren tyou going to ask me?... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-HITCHHIKING….-A-long-haired ...business-jokes: Horngren s Observation: ... Horngren s Observation: Among economists, the real world is often a special case.Hubbard s Law: Don t take life too seriously; you won t get out of it alive.Hurewitz s Memory Principle: The chance of forgetting something... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Horngren-s-Observation: ...business-jokes: Hostess Twinkie Failure ... Hostess Twinkie Failure Test In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, we subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments: EXPOSURE:A... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Hostess-Twinkie-Failure ...business-jokes: HOW MANY REPUBLICANS…. ... HOW MANY REPUBLICANS…. How Many Republicans Does It Take to Screw in a Light Bulb? Four hundred and seventy one:12 to investigate Clinton s involvement in the failure of the old bulb,23 to deregulate the light bulb indus... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-HOW-MANY-REPUBLICANS…. ...business-jokes: How you made ... How you made money A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.“I ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-How-you-made ...business-jokes: Hugh Downs ... Hugh Downs Four Rules for Investigating the Universe: Rule 1 - When confronted with an apparent infinite or infinitely repeating pattern, expect some variant that keeps it from being infinite. Rule 2 - When all investig... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Hugh-Downs- ...business-jokes: I knocked several ... I knocked several times, but you weren t in. - OpportunityI once worked as a salesman and was very independent; I took orders from no one.I think we should really add to the confusion… Let s call in (Insert Your Favorite... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-I-knocked-several ...business-jokes: I m at ... I m at the wrong bank Letterman s Top Ten Signs You re Doing Business With The Wrong Bank10. When you make a deposit, tellers high-five each other.9. After you get a free toaster, bank president shows up at your house be... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-I-m-at ...business-jokes: If a straight ... If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points.If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.If an item is advertised as “under $... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-If-a-straight ...business-jokes: If at first ... If at first you don t succeed, give up. No use being a stupid fool.If at first you don t succeed, redefine success.If at first you don t succeed, skydiving is not your sport.If at first you don t succeed, transform your ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-If-at-first ...business-jokes: If builders built ... If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.If enough data is collected, anything can be proven by statistical methods.If everythin... - Tags:
