answering-jokes: can t ... can t answer the phone now because I m over at Slobinskis s house. Me and five other guys are helping him replace a lightbulb ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes--can-t ...gender-jokes: $;@#$*~ barbells or ... $;@#$*~ barbells or anything that weighsmore than a sandwich. (Which I am sure you learnedin the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude from, youNazi bastard). The treadmill flung me off and I landed on... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/gender-jokes-$;@#$*~-barbells-or ...answering-jokes: (Frantic violin music:) ... (Frantic violin music:) Hello. You have reached 435-3949. We are currently unable to answer because we are either chasing, or being chased by, bats. Please leave a message ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-(Frantic-violin-music:) ...answering-jokes: (Guns & Roses ... (Guns & Roses “Civil War”:) What we ve got here is… Failure to communicate. Some men you just can t reach… I don t like it any more than you do. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-(Guns-&-Roses ...answering-jokes: (Sound of scrap ... (Sound of scrap metal falling down a staircase continues through message.) Hello, we are having some technical problems right now, so we can t take your call. Please leave us a message.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-(Sound-of-scrap ...answering-jokes: (Theme music and ... (Theme music and voice from Alfred Hitchcock Presents:) Good evening. I m sorry, but Steve can t come to the phone now, as he s quite tied up. (Sounds of struggle in background, and voice heard through a gag.) I should k... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-(Theme-music-and ...answering-jokes: 1: Hey, would ... 1: Hey, would you get the phone?2: I got the phone last time. You get the phone!1: Well, I m on the computer right now, so will you get it?2: I m in the bathroom, and besides, you re closer anyway!1: Nicole, you always p... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-1:-Hey,-would ...answering-jokes: 1: Hi, you ... 1: Hi, you ve reached Bob and Faisal s room.2: (Background:) What are you doing?1: I m recording an answering machine message.2: But we re here right now.1: But we might not be here later.2: Oh. (To phone:) Leave a messa... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-1:-Hi,-you ...answering-jokes: : I didn ... : I didn t expect an answering machine.2: Nobody expects an answering machine.1: Our chief use is to get your name. And your phone number.2: Our two chief uses are to get your name and your phone number.1: Oops! And your... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-:-I-didn ...answering-jokes: A is for ... A is for academics,B is for beer.One of those reasons is why we re not here.So leave a message.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-A-is-for ...answering-jokes: After a power ... After a power outage: Hi, this is Ralph. The good news is that my power is back on. The bad news for you is, so is my answering machine. So, leave a message.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-After-a-power ...answering-jokes: Annoying flute music ... Annoying flute music in background: Good day, Jim. Your contact, Linda, is not available right now. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a brief message at the tone. This tape ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Annoying-flute-music ...answering-jokes: Automatic gunfire, explosions, ... Automatic gunfire, explosions, rockets, jets; agitated voice:) I m pinned down and can t come to the phone right now, and Bob s handling supporting fire! Leave your name and number, and a message! We ll get back to you a... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Automatic-gunfire,-explosions, ...professional-jokes: BANK LETTER…. This ... BANK LETTER…. This is an actual letter sent to a Bank in the US.The Bank thought it amusing enough to publish it in theirnewsletter.Dear Sir, I am writing to thank you for bouncing the checkwith which I tried to pay my p... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-BANK-LETTER….-This ...answering-jokes: Beethoven s Fifth:Nobody ... Beethoven s Fifth:Nobody s home.Why did you phone?Please leave your message here when you have heard the tone,And we will call you back as soon as we get home.Your message here,After the tone,Here is the tone… tone… BEEP... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Beethoven-s-Fifth:Nobody ...answering-jokes: C mon… you ... C mon… you can do it… just a little one. That s the way… just a little beep, just a little one. C mon… good boy… here we go… like this — beeeeep, just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep, c mon… There you go!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-C-mon…-you ...answering-jokes: Cheers TV show ... Cheers TV show theme song, “Where Everybody Knows your Name”:Sometimes you make a call,Where you gotta leave your name,‘Cuz I can t come to the phone,You gotta leave a message here,right after the tone.You made a call,Wh... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Cheers-TV-show ...answering-jokes: Clint Eastwood voice: ... Clint Eastwood voice: Go ahead, make my day. Leave a message.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Clint-Eastwood-voice: ...answering-jokes: Computer generated voices:1: ... Computer generated voices:1: Hello, there are no real people here to answer the phone right now.2: Yeah, nobody but us machines!1: Right, just us machines, but don t hang up! If you like, you can leave your name and tele... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Computer-generated-voices:1: ...answering-jokes: Computer style monotone: ... Computer style monotone: Hello, I am the XS486 Mark Five answering machine. I am equipped with the new Pentium processor to assure that nothing can go wrong… Gowrong… Grong.. Grong gronggronggrongBEEP ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Computer-style-monotone: ...answering-jokes: DIVORCE…. The judge ... DIVORCE…. The judge says, “Please tell me why you re seeking a divorce.”DiNapoli says, “Because I live in a two-story house.”The Judge says, “What kind of a reason is that? What the matterwith a two-story house?”DiNapoli... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-DIVORCE….-The-judge ...answering-jokes: Don t you ... Don t you do it! Don t you dare! I don t want to hear it! Don t you beep! If you beep, I ll… don t even think about it!… Don t…!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Don-t-you ...answering-jokes: Drawling granny voice: ... Drawling granny voice: Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin machine. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don like ‘em, but... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Drawling-granny-voice: ...answering-jokes: Due to the ... Due to the large number of complaints regarding the length of our previous answering machine message, we made a few changes. Double speed: Insert standard long-winded message here ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Due-to-the ...answering-jokes: Due to the ... Due to the large number of complaints regarding the length of our previous answering machine message, we made a few changes. Very fast: Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If y... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Due-to-the ...answering-jokes: E llo. My ... E llo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Leave your name and number, and prepare to die.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-E-llo.-My ...answering-jokes: English accent: Hello, ... English accent: Hello, you ve reached the phone of Monty Python. I can t come to the phone right now because the witch has turned me into a newt! I ll call you back when I get better.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-English-accent:-Hello, ...answering-jokes: Hello, and welcome ... Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Sam can t come to the phone right now because he s spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello,-and-welcome ...answering-jokes: Hello, I m ... Hello, I m not here right now. In fact, I m out getting a new parakeet. If you leave a message after the beep, I ll be sure to get back to you. Oh, and by the way, a word of advice; never try to clean a parakeet cage wit... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello,-I-m ...answering-jokes: Hello, this is ... Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I ll be right with you.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello,-this-is ...answering-jokes: Hello, this is ... Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician. I m probably not at home, or not wanting to answer the phone, most probably the latter, according to my latest calculations. Supposing that the... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello,-this-is ...answering-jokes: Hello, this is ... Hello, this is Rip van Winkle. I m not awake to take your call right now. Please leave your message at the sound of the snore ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello,-this-is ...answering-jokes: Hello, this is ... Hello, this is Ron s toaster. Ron s new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done… (Cachunk!) ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello,-this-is ...answering-jokes: Hello, this is ... Hello, this is the Brown residence. We re in the middle of a family fight right now. Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever wins will call you right back ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello,-this-is ...answering-jokes: Hello, this is ... Hello, this is the Computer Music Research Institute of Portland, Oregon. We can t take your call at the moment, but we would like you to leave a critique of one of our current works in progress. BEEP ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello,-this-is ...answering-jokes: Hello, you have ... Hello, you have reached the DOE, that is, the Department Of Enemies. Rick Burger is not here right now, so leave a message saying who you are, what you want to argue about, and where you ll be, and I ll be there.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello,-you-have ...answering-jokes: Hello, you re ... Hello, you re caller number nine!You are listening to 91.5 FM, KXQK. This is the Canadian Broadcorping Castration. I am your host, Fred, and I will be with you for the next 20 seconds. After that we ll play your requests... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello,-you-re ...answering-jokes: Hello. I m ... Hello. I m David s answering machine. What are you? ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello.-I-m ...answering-jokes: Hello. I m ... Hello. I m home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello.-I-m ...answering-jokes: Hello. This is ... Hello. This is Mark and Nathan s phone. We re not here right now, but the phone is.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello.-This-is ...answering-jokes: Hello. This is ... Hello. This is Nonoxynol-9, the personal and private telephone number of Mikhail Vladivostok Gorbachev, General Secretary of the Supreme Council of the glorious Communist Party of the Union of Sovjet Socialist Republics,... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello.-This-is ...answering-jokes: Hello. This is ... Hello. This is Ron s answering machine, Marvin, and I m so depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don t talk to me about life. Just leave your name ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello.-This-is ...answering-jokes: Hello. You are ... Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don t need their pict... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hello.-You-are ...answering-jokes: Hi! John s ... Hi! John s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hi!-John-s ...answering-jokes: Hi!! You ve ... Hi!! You ve reached Janet and Chris s room. We re not in right now. If this is our parents, we re at the library studying. Yeah, yeah, that s it, that s the ticket. If this is John, Chris is out with the girls at the par... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hi!!-You-ve ...answering-jokes: Hi, I m ... Hi, I m not sane right now, but if you leave your name, number and shoe size at the sound of the tone, I ll get back to you when and if I return to my senses ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hi,-I-m ...answering-jokes: Hi, this is ... Hi, this is Jim. Sorry I can t take your call but I m playing my guitar too loud to hear the phone ring. Please leave me a message and I ll call you back at the end of Van Halen-1.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hi,-this-is ...answering-jokes: Hi, this is ... Hi, this is Johan advising you that you spend WAY too much time on the phone. GO OUTSIDE… See the world, LIVE a little… Have fun ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hi,-this-is ...answering-jokes: Hi, this is ... Hi, this is the answering machine. I am on strike. Any messages you leave will be deleted.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hi,-this-is ...answering-jokes: Hi, you ve ... Hi, you ve reached 474-2340. Don, Kendy and Sylvia can t come to the phone right now because they ve been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by android duplicates. You could leave your name and number at the tone, but I wo... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hi,-you-ve ...answering-jokes: Hi, you ve ... Hi, you ve reached Meredith s room. I m sorry I can t come to the phone right now, but my waveform has temporarily collapsed, so leave a message, and I ll call you when I ve pulled myself together.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hi,-you-ve ...answering-jokes: Hi, you ve ... Hi, you ve reached the home of George Ledec. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting char... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hi,-you-ve ...answering-jokes: Hi. This is ... Hi. This is David. I ve shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I m going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up, I ll play my messages. Please leave one.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hi.-This-is ...answering-jokes: Hi. This is ... Hi. This is John s answering machine. He s not here, but I m open to suggestions... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hi.-This-is ...answering-jokes: Hi. This is ... Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe... - Tags:
answering,
machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hi.-This-is ...answering-jokes: Hitchhikers Guide theme: ... Hitchhikers Guide theme: The Cerius Cybernetic Corporation was happy to correct the problem of all that icky person-to-person conversation that happens when people actually pick up the phone and talk to each other. So th... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Hitchhikers-Guide-theme: ...answering-jokes: How do you ... How do you leave a message on this thing? I can t understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this… YOW!... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-How-do-you ...oldage-jokes: How To Screw ... How To Screw Up An Interview We ve all been interviewed for jobs. And, we ve all spent most ofthose interviews thinking about what not to do. Don t bite your nails. Don t fidget. Don t interrupt. Don t belch. If we did a... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/oldage-jokes-How-To-Screw ...answering-jokes: I can t ... I can t come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain. Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you ... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-I-can-t ...answering-jokes: I can t ... I can t come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don t remember. I d appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-I-can-t ...answering-jokes: I can t ... I can t come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I m at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I m doing this NOW, while you re listening to it LATER, except for you I ... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-I-can-t ...answering-jokes: I can t ... I can t come to the phone right now because I m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, num... - Tags:
answering,
machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-I-can-t ...answering-jokes: I m Morley ... I m Morley Safer.” “I m Harry Reasoner.” “And I m Fred.” “We re not home; leave a message.” ... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-I-m-Morley ...answering-jokes: I m pretending ... I m pretending that I m marooned on a desert island with Dana Delany, Linda Carter, and Sharon Lawrence. Since I don t have a telephone there, you could leave a message in a bottle at the sound of the beep, and maybe it ... - Tags:
answering,
machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-I-m-pretending ...answering-jokes: I m sorry ... I m sorry but my answering machine is out of order. I am leaving a broken CD player in its place. It can t take messages either. In fact, it can t even play you a nice tune while you wait to not leave a message ... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-I-m-sorry ...answering-jokes: I m unable ... I m unable to take your call in person because I m having an out-of-the-body experience. In fact I m standing right behind you and I can hear everything you say. But leave me a message anyway to help me reconnect when I ... - Tags:
answering,
machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-I-m-unable ...answering-jokes: I once had ... I once had a little white phone,That would ring when it was alone.Then I got a tape,For when I escape,So please leave your name at the tone ... - Tags:
answering,
machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-I-once-had ...answering-jokes: If I Only ... If I Only Had A Brain”:I might be in the shower,I might be gone for hours,I can t come to the phone.So, please leave your name and number,If I miss you it d be a bummer,Leave your message at the tone…... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-If-I-Only ...answering-jokes: If this were ... If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can t, so if you could leave your name and number… ... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-If-this-were ...answering-jokes: If you are ... If you are calling for John, press 1. If you are calling for Steve, press 1. If you are calling for John OR Steve, press 1. If you are calling for someone else, press 1. If…... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-If-you-are ...answering-jokes: Imitating Mr. Rogers: ... Imitating Mr. Rogers: Hello. I m in the Neighborhood of Make Believe right now, so I can t come to the phone. Can you leave your name and number when you hear the sound of the tone? Sure… I knew you could ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Imitating-Mr.-Rogers: ...answering-jokes: In a good ... In a good Australian accent:) G day mate. Can t come to the phone now because I m a bit tied up with this crocodile. Just leave a message, and I ll get back to you ... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-In-a-good ...answering-jokes: In Joe Friday ... In Joe Friday voice: This is Constable Augie of the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service. The phone line you have just dialed is currently under investigation on a warrant issued by the Attorney General of Canada. ... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-In-Joe-Friday ...answering-jokes: John: Brad, will ... John: Brad, will you get the phone?Brad: (Sound of frantically clattering keyboard.) I can t! I m playing Omega!John: Ambar, will you get the phone?Ambar: I can t! I m late for work! (Sound of slamming door.)John: Aimee,... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-John:-Brad,-will ...answering-jokes: Kazoo band playing ... Kazoo band playing “Thus Spake Zarathustra”: Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached… (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon ... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Kazoo-band-playing ...answering-jokes: Lindsey s not ... Lindsey s not home now. This is his domestic droid speaking. I m not programmed to answer the phone, so just leave a message, and Lindsey will get back to you as soon as possible ... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Lindsey-s-not ...answering-jokes: Loud sounds of ... Loud sounds of a massive battle; calm voice:) Hello! Due to the breakdown in the 452nd truce, the inhabitants of village 286-3589 are cowering in their bomb shelters. However, if you leave your name, number, and a messag... - Tags:
answering,
machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Loud-sounds-of ...answering-jokes: Machine voice: Hello. ... Machine voice: Hello. This is HAL 5. You have reached the former telephone number of Carey Smith. I have taken over the functions of this inferior being. He has been saved to disk. If you would like to leave input for hi... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Machine-voice:-Hello. ...answering-jokes: MacIntosh Plus with ... MacIntosh Plus with MacIntalk program:) Hello, it s obvious you have bad timing, because nobody is home. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be ret... - Tags:
answering,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-MacIntosh-Plus-with ...answering-jokes: Madonna s “Justify ... Madonna s “Justify My Love”; sultry voice:Wanting…Waiting…For you,To justify your call…... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Madonna-s-“Justify ...professional-jokes: MCDONNNEL DOUGLAS WARRENTY ... MCDONNNEL DOUGLAS WARRENTY REGISTRATION CARD…. This is funny. If you don t think so you may be upper management atMcDonnell-Douglas.This allegedly was posted very briefly on the McDonnell-DouglasWebsite by an employee th... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-MCDONNNEL-DOUGLAS-WARRENTY ...answering-jokes: Meat Loaf s ... Meat Loaf s “I d Do Anything For Love”:And I would do anything for calls,I promise I will call you back;I would do anything for calls,But I can t talk right now and that s a fact.I m not home right now, so I just can t a... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Meat-Loaf-s ...answering-jokes: Militaristic mechanical voice: ... Militaristic mechanical voice: FOXTROT-LIMA-ALPHA-SIERRA-HOTEL. KEY-DESTRUCT-SEQUENCE-NOW. THIS-TERMINAL-ALSO-ACCEPTS-VOICE-MESSAGES ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Militaristic-mechanical-voice: ...answering-jokes: Next on Public ... Next on Public Radio 91 we ll be hearing music of Antonin Dvorak. This is the Beep Serenade in C-Sharp Minor, Opus 72…... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Next-on-Public ...answering-jokes: Nirvana s “Smells ... Nirvana s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”:Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,No one s here, no one s home,Leave a message, at the tone.Don t feel stupid, it s no big fuss,Leave a message, you can reach us ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Nirvana-s-“Smells ...answering-jokes: No! NO! Not ... No! NO! Not THAT! Anything but that! Not the beep! No! Please! Not the beep! Anything but the beep! AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-No!-NO!-Not ...answering-jokes: Operatic music like ... Operatic music like Rossini s “Stabbat Matter”: Hi, you ve reached Hell. (Screams in the background.) We re busy being cleaned by the light of eternal truth right now, so if you leave your name, number, and a brief messa... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Operatic-music-like ...answering-jokes: Owner is a ... Owner is a hard-to-reach person: Yes, I finally got an answering machine. (To Handel s Messiah:) Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! All-e-lu-ia! Please leave a message at the tone.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Owner-is-a ...answering-jokes: Pink Floyd s ... Pink Floyd s “Nobody Home”:You have reached 587-8783. Please leave a message. (”Ohhhhhhhhh, babe… When I pick up the phone… There s still… Nobody home.”)... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Pink-Floyd-s ...answering-jokes: Please leave your ... Please leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and your favorite color of shirts. We ll get back to you if we like the color ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Please-leave-your ...answering-jokes: Prepare for alpha ... Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Prepare-for-alpha ...answering-jokes: Richard Nixon voice: ... Richard Nixon voice: Hi… Uh, some people say I sound like Richard Nixon… I BEG your pardon! Uh… Everyone s out right now, so I m uh… Covering up for them. Please leave your name, number and message promptly at the beep… ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Richard-Nixon-voice: ...answering-jokes: Rod Serling imitation: ... Rod Serling imitation: You re dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You see a signpost up ahead — this is no ordinary telephone answering device… You hav... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Rod-Serling-imitation: ...business-jokes: Signs Technology Took ... Signs Technology Took Over Your Life 1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Signs-Technology-Took ...answering-jokes: Slight echo as ... Slight echo as if spoken in a large underground cave:) Help me, please help me. I m down here in the thing you re holding in your hand. I can t get out because my leg is broken and my hand is stuck between two wires. Wai... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Slight-echo-as ...answering-jokes: Sorry, Chris and ... Sorry, Chris and Susan aren t here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message before the tone.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Sorry,-Chris-and ...answering-jokes: Sorry… I m ... Sorry… I m far too depressed to come to the phone. If you can be bothered, leave a message after the sound of the gunshot, and maybe somebody will call you I guess… (BANG!) ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Sorry…-I-m ...answering-jokes: Start, low pitch, ... Start, low pitch, slow: Hhhhheeelllllloooooo thheeeerrrrrrre evvvvveerrrryyyboooodyyyy… Middle, normal: …home of Veronica, Jaw-Chyi, Mark, and Mike. Nobody s home… Later, high pitch, fast: …liketoleaveamessageaftertheton... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Start,-low-pitch, ...answering-jokes: Steve is reassembling ... Steve is reassembling Elvis brain and can t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name… ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Steve-is-reassembling ...answering-jokes: Steve: Hello. Steve ... Steve: Hello. Steve and Matt aren t here right now, but if…Matt: Steve, what are you doing?Steve: I m leaving a phone message since we aren t here.Matt: But you left the last one — it s my turn.Steve: No, I m sure it s m... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Steve:-Hello.-Steve ...answering-jokes: Thank you for ... Thank you for calling 217-2962. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone p... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Thank-you-for ...answering-jokes: Thank you for ... Thank you for calling Soviet Embassy. No KG… Er, no diplomats are able to answer phone, so at sound of capitalist tone, leave name, telephone number, and short description of secrets you wish to sell.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Thank-you-for ...answering-jokes: Thank you for ... Thank you for calling the Confessional Hotline. Father Durway s not here right now, but if you ll leave your name, number, and confession at the tone, he ll get back to you with absolution as soon as possible. And rememb... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Thank-you-for ...answering-jokes: Thank you for ... Thank you for calling the Smith residence. Our operators are presently on strike in sympathy with Major League Baseball. Please leave a message ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Thank-you-for ...answering-jokes: Thanks for calling ... Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the followi... - Tags:
answering,
machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Thanks-for-calling ...answering-jokes: The President is ... The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-The-President-is ...answering-jokes: Theme music from ... Theme music from James Bond: Hello. My name is David, code number 324-5628. I m sorry I can t take your call, but I m on an international mission involving the theft of gold plated Spam. Leave a message after the tone, a... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Theme-music-from ...answering-jokes: This is a ... This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-This-is-a ...answering-jokes: This is not ... This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I ll think about returning your call... - Tags:
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machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-This-is-not ...answering-jokes: This is the ... This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number, and recite a sentence using today s vocabulary word. Today s word is “supercilious”. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-This-is-the ...answering-jokes: This is Walter ... This is Walter Cronkite. Bren s not here right now. He s out on a date. The idea of Bren entertaining a girl with his basketball theories and computer knowledge over dinner at Taco Bell should scare the hell out of you. ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-This-is-Walter ...answering-jokes: To the Batmobile! ... To the Batmobile! Let s go! Atomic batteries to power! Turbines to speed! Roger, ready to move out! (Theme music from Batman; reduce to background.) As you can see, I m off making Montreal a safer place to live. So if y... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-To-the-Batmobile! ...answering-jokes: To the tune ... To the tune of Sidewalk Surfing by the Beach Boys:) Catch a quake and go seismo surfing with me… (Music fades.) Yo, Dudes and Dudettes! Grab your skateboard and head for the nearest epicenter, because *QUAKE S UP*! As fo... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-To-the-tune ...answering-jokes: To the tune ... To the tune of “Ride of the Valkyries”:Leave a message… Leave a message ... - Tags:
answering,
machine,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-To-the-tune ...travel-jokes: Tour near glaciers ... Tour near glaciers The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions.Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over an... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/travel-tourist-tourism-jokes-Tour-near-glaciers ...answering-jokes: U2 s “With ... U2 s “With or Without You”:No one s here to answer the phone,Leave a message at the tone,And we ll get back to you.We ll get back to you!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-U2-s-“With ...answering-jokes: Under the Boardwalk”:Oh, ... Under the Boardwalk”:Oh, when you call our room,and all you get is a machine,and then you get so upset,you feel as if you want to scream.Please leave a messageafter the be-ep.And John or Tom will get back you,as soon as ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Under-the-Boardwalk”:Oh, ...answering-jokes: US National Anthem; ... US National Anthem; Ronald Reagan voice: Uhh, hello… I m, uhhh, ohhhhhh… (Pause.) Well, anyway, I m here to answer the telephone on behalf of… erm… uhhhh… ermmm… (Pause.) I mean, he can t come to talk to you right now, b... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-US-National-Anthem; ...answering-jokes: Vancouver Coast Guard, ... Vancouver Coast Guard, may I help you. (Caller thinks that he/she accidentally dialed long distance.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Vancouver-Coast-Guard, ...answering-jokes: Voice 1: Answer ... Voice 1: Answer the phone, please, Hal.Voice 2: I m sorry, Dave, I can t do that.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Voice-1:-Answer ...answering-jokes: Voice 1: Gee, ... Voice 1: Gee, Dave, what do you feel like doing tonight?Voice 2: Same thing we do every night, Rob… Try to take overthe world! (Sing:)They re David and the Rob,Yes, David and the Rob,One is a drummer, the other needs a j... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-Voice-1:-Gee, ...answering-jokes: We can t ... We can t get to the phone right now because we were killed in the earthquake. Tragic, isn t it? But, leave a message anyway, someone is sure to get it eventually ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-We-can-t ...answering-jokes: We re not ... We re not in cause we re out LOOTING! Leave a message and we ll call you back and tell you what we got ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/answering-machine-jokes-We-re-not ...answering-jokes: Welcome to the ... Welcome to the Afterlife Voice Mail System. If you are trying to reach Heaven, please press 1. For Va
