animals-jokes: Ever walk ... Ever walk into a room and forget what you came in for?Well, that s probably how dogs spend most of their lives…... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes--Ever-walk ...animals-jokes: $*& is so ... $*& is so funny?” asked one of the scientist.“You should have seen the monkey s face trying to get the cork back in!!!”... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-$*&-is-so ...animals-jokes: 10 reasons why ... 10 reasons why a dog doesn`t use a computer! 10. T0o0p hqa5rxd 6tt0[o 6ty[p3e 2w9igtjh;pa3wds (It`s hard to type with paws)9. ‘Sit and stay were hard enough; ‘delete and save are out of the question.8. Saliva-coate... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-10-reasons-why ...animals-jokes: 99 Click Q. ... 99 Click Q. What goes 99 click? A. A centipede with a wooden leg.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-99-Click-Q. ...animals-jokes: A bat joke ... A bat joke A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single batSTANDING upright underneath on the floor of the cave. Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: “What the heckare you do... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-bat-joke ...animals-jokes: A BIT OF ... A BIT OF POACHING…. A couple of boys were fishing at their special pond off thebeaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out ofthe bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod downand started running th... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-BIT-OF ...animals-jokes: A BLONDE WITH ... A BLONDE WITH HORSE SENSE…. There was this blonde farmer who had these two horses that shecouldn t tell apart. She went to her neighbor and asked if he hadany ideas to help her. The neighbor told her to trim part of oneh... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-BLONDE-WITH ...animals-jokes: A Bugs Mind ... A Bugs Mind What is the last thing to go through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield?It s butt!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-Bugs-Mind ...animals-jokes: A chicken walks ... A chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says “We don t servepoultry!” The chicken says “That s OK I just want a drink.”Why don t chicken wear underware?- Because their peckers are on their face!Which side of the chicke... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-chicken-walks ...animals-jokes: A Cowboy and ... A Cowboy and his Horse This Cowboy is riding the range when he gets ambushed by some indians. They take him back to their villiage to see the chief. The Chief looks at the cowboy and says:“You White man, you will die at ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-Cowboy-and ...animals-jokes: A DOG OF ... A DOG OF A STORY…. There s three dogs, a Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog allsat in a bar having a quiet drink when a great-looking femaleCollie strolls in. She comes up to them and says, “Whoever cansay liver and che... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-DOG-OF ...animals-jokes: A Fairy Tale ... A Fairy Tale Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princesshappened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, “Iwas once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me.One kiss fro... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-Fairy-Tale ...animals-jokes: A FEW LINES…. ... A FEW LINES…. Akmed came to the United States from Afghanistan, and he was onlyhere a few months when he became very ill. He went to doctor afterdoctor, but none of them could help him. Finally, he went to anArab doctor.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-FEW-LINES…. ...animals-jokes: A gorilla walks ... A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer.“That will be $17.50 please” says the bartender thinking thegorilla was stupid being an animal. So the gorilla gives thebartender his money and starts to sip h... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-gorilla-walks ...animals-jokes: A Hippo What? ... A Hippo What? 3 elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park bench discussing what the meanest animal in the world was.The first said, “The meanest animal in the world is a Hippopotamus, cause it s got such big jowls. One bi... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-Hippo-What? ...animals-jokes: A KITTY FROM ... A KITTY FROM HEAVEN…. –AN AMAZING CAT STORY: A man recently told a story about the pastor of his church: He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard andthen was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offeredw... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-KITTY-FROM ...animals-jokes: A lady on ... A lady on vacation took a stroll through the woods.Suddenly a little white duck, all covered with poop, crossed her path. “Oh, my,” exclaimed the lady, “Come on, I ll clean you!”She took a Kleenex from her purse and clea... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-lady-on ...animals-jokes: A LESSON ON ... A LESSON ON LITERATURE…. A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking forsomething to eat. He came across two men. One was sittingunder a tree and reading a book; the other was typing awayon his typewriter. The l... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-LESSON-ON ...animals-jokes: A man goes ... A man goes into a cinema with his dog to watch a film. It s aromantic comedy and when there s a funny seen the dog startslaughing. A little later on there s a sad part and suddenly thedog starts crying.This goes on throu... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-man-goes ...animals-jokes: A Mother Cow ... A Mother Cow What do you call a mother cow that lost her calf?“Decafinated”... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-Mother-Cow ...animals-jokes: A motorist pulls ... A motorist pulls up to the gas pumps and says “fill it up, please”. The Attendant notices that the front and back seats of the car areoccupied by penguins.“Hey Buddy” says the attendant to the driver, “These birds can t ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-motorist-pulls ...animals-jokes: A old snake ... A old snake goes to see his Doctor.“Doc, I need something for my eyes…can t see well these days”.The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells th... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-old-snake ...animals-jokes: A pile of ... A pile of one liners! Why are sheep always in a field?Because they can t get out ! Who gives my cat his Christmas presents?Santa Paws! Who gives my other cat his Christmas presents?Santa Claws! What did the hat say to th... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-pile-of ...animals-jokes: A SOCIALIST:You have ... A SOCIALIST:You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to yourneighbor.A REPUBLICAN:You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feelguilty f... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-SOCIALIST:You-have ...animals-jokes: A WHALE OF ... A WHALE OF A TALE…. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whaleto swallow a human because even though a whale is a verylarge mammal, its throat is very ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-A-WHALE-OF ...business-jokes: Acheson s Rule ... Acheson s Rule Of The Bureaucracy: A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer. - Dean AchesonAction s Law: Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.Adler s Distinction: ... - Tags:
business,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/business-jokes-Acheson-s-Rule ...gender-jokes: Adam Strikes A ... Adam Strikes A Bargain One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.”“What s the problem, Adam?” God replies.“Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me a... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/gender-jokes-Adam-Strikes-A ...animals-jokes: ANGRY SNAIL…. A ... ANGRY SNAIL…. A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up,and no one is there. He looks all around and he finallysees a little snail sitting on the doormat. He picksit up and throws it across the street into a fie... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-ANGRY-SNAIL….-A ...animals-jokes: ANIMAL JOKES…. A ... ANIMAL JOKES…. A mouse and a lion walk into a bar, and they re sitting therechugging away at a few ales when a giraffe walks in. “Get aload of her” says the mouse, “I fancy that!” “Well, why nottry your luck?” says the l... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-ANIMAL-JOKES….-A ...animals-jokes: ANIMAL PICTURES…. The ... ANIMAL PICTURES…. The day care teacher holds up a picture and asks, “What s this?”“A horsey,” one child answers“And this?” the teacher asksA piggy.” replies another youngster.“And now this one?” asks the teacher, holding... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-ANIMAL-PICTURES….-The ...animals-jokes: Another chicken crosses ... Another chicken crosses the road Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To show the squirrel it CAN be done!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Another-chicken-crosses ...animals-jokes: August 10, 2005WHAT ... August 10, 2005WHAT BIRD IS THIS?…. Here in Kentucky, you don t see too many people hang-gliding. Ol Zeekdecided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highestmountain, and after struggling to the top, he ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-August-10,-2005WHAT ...animals-jokes: August 11, 2005MONKEY…. ... August 11, 2005MONKEY…. A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his firstsip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, amonkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him beforehe is able to s... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-August-11,-2005MONKEY…. ...animals-jokes: August 9, 2005CATS ... August 9, 2005CATS AND DOGS…. What is a CAT? 1. Cats do what they want.2. They rarely listen to you.3. They re totally unpredictable.4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.5. When you want to be alone, they want... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-August-9,-2005CATS ...animals-jokes: Baby Turtle A ... Baby Turtle A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four f... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Baby-Turtle-A ...animals-jokes: Bad dog Q) ... Bad dog Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?A) It doesn t matter, he won t come ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Bad-dog-Q) ...animals-jokes: Bad Dog! A ... Bad Dog! A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man s trouser leg.The man reached in his pocket and took out a doggie biscuit.A busybody who had been watching ran u... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Bad-Dog!-A ...animals-jokes: Bear and Squirrel ... Bear and Squirrel Deep in the woods sat a bear and a squirrel at the communal latrine. “Hmmm” says the bear to the squirrel, “Do you find that shit tends to stick to your fur?”“Yes it does” replies the squirrel.“Great!” ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Bear-and-Squirrel ...animals-jokes: BEAR JOKES…. There ... BEAR JOKES…. There is this bear, who walks into a bar. He goes up to the barmanand says “Can I have a large Ginand……………………………………………….………………………………………………….…………………………………….. Tonic Please?” TheBarman replies “Yeah sure, but w... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-BEAR-JOKES….-There ...animals-jokes: Bilingual Dog A ... Bilingual Dog A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. “Well,” says the personnel director, “You ll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute.”Sitting down at t... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Bilingual-Dog-A ...animals-jokes: BIRD LOVER…. “Each ... BIRD LOVER…. “Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting likean owl - and one night, an owl called back to him. For a year,the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He evenkept a log of the ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-BIRD-LOVER….-“Each ...animals-jokes: Blubber trouble Whales ... Blubber trouble Whales are mammals. Mammals have hair. SHAVE THE WHALES!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Blubber-trouble-Whales ...animals-jokes: Boy Sees Elephant ... Boy Sees Elephant Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Boy-Sees-Elephant ...animals-jokes: CAT JOKES…. How ... CAT JOKES…. How do you make a cat sound like a dog? - Pour gas on it,light it and wait for the WOOF!Did you hear about the Irish cat who did a shit in the garden- It buried itself!Little girl goes into the local corner s... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-CAT-JOKES….-How ...animals-jokes: Cat s Prayer ... Cat s Prayer Now I lay me down to sleepI pray this cushy life to keepI pray for toys that look like miceand warm cushions soft and niceFor grocery bags where I can hideJust like a tiger croucched insideI pray for gourmet... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Cat-s-Prayer ...animals-jokes: Catching polar bears ... Catching polar bears How to catch a polar bear:Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond. Cut a large hole in the ice. Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file. Hide behind a ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Catching-polar-bears ...animals-jokes: Centipede One day ... Centipede One day the big animals and the little animals decided to have a football game. As the first half went along, the big animals were scoring at will. Every time they got the ball they would run it in for a touchd... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Centipede-One-day ...animals-jokes: CHEAP CAT-HOUSE…. A ... CHEAP CAT-HOUSE…. A man goes to Joes Cat-House and asks for a woman.“What price range are you interested in?” Asks Joe.“All I have is a dollar..” Says the man.“OK. Gimme the doller and go upstairs to room 13? sez Joe.The... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-CHEAP-CAT-HOUSE….-A ...animals-jokes: Chicken and the ... Chicken and the road thru history Famous interpretations of “Why did the Chicken cross the road?”Bill Clinton:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please…Loui... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Chicken-and-the ...animals-jokes: CHICKEN LIBRARY…. A ... CHICKEN LIBRARY…. A chicken walks into a public library and goes up to the librarian.The librarian looks down at the chicken and the chicken says, Book,book, book booook!The librarian hands the chicken four books and the... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-CHICKEN-LIBRARY….-A ...animals-jokes: Circus Elephant There ... Circus Elephant There was this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant. Alas, he couldn t afford to feed it. He d never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground. So he started a contest: entry was $10, and ... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Circus-Elephant-There ...animals-jokes: Confusion What s ... Confusion What s the difference between a duck?One of it s legs is both the same.(just say it to confuse people)... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Confusion-What-s ...animals-jokes: Cow Joke Knock ... Cow Joke Knock Knock Who s there? Interupting Cow Interupt…. MOO!!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Cow-Joke-Knock ...animals-jokes: COW JOKES…. There ... COW JOKES…. There are two cows in a field and one says to the other “I m abit worried about all this mad cow s disease that s been goingaround. Aren t you” The other one says “Why should it bother me,I m a penguin!” What... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-COW-JOKES….-There ...animals-jokes: Cow Priced Like ... Cow Priced Like A Car What would happen if we priced our “COWS” using the same criteria the auto industry uses to price a “CAR”?LIST PRICING A COWA farmer had been taken several times by the local car dealer. Oneday, the... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Cow-Priced-Like ...animals-jokes: Crossed What do ... Crossed What do you get when you put a Gay guy and a dinosaur together?A:> A MegasaurASS... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Crossed-What-do ...animals-jokes: Crossing Question: Why ... Crossing Question: Why did the hamster cross the road?Answer: Because it was stuck in the Chicken s ass!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Crossing-Question:-Why ...animals-jokes: CRUISING WITH PENGUINS…. ... CRUISING WITH PENGUINS…. A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck fullof penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: “You can t drive aroundwith penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-CRUISING-WITH-PENGUINS…. ...animals-jokes: dead dogs Hahahaha ... dead dogs Hahahaha my old dog was so stupid! He was very entertaining though… to laugh at! Everyday when driving down the road to go to work he would always run in front of my car until we were off our private road so he... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-dead-dogs-Hahahaha ...animals-jokes: Dead Donkey Buddy ... Dead Donkey Buddy Boudreaux left Newfoundland and moved to Toronto and bought adonkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver thedonkey the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up and said, “I msorr... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Dead-Donkey-Buddy ...animals-jokes: DEAD FROG TEST…. ... DEAD FROG TEST…. Out of the mouths of babes, comes the Dead Frog Test. A True story. A kindergarten teacher had a pupil tell her he d found a frog.She asked whether it was alive or dead.“Dead,” she was informed.“How do y... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-DEAD-FROG-TEST…. ...animals-jokes: Decaf Poopacino I ... Decaf Poopacino I have exciting news for anybody who would like to pay a lot of money for coffee that has passed all the way through an animal s digestive tract.And you just know there are plenty of people who would. Spe... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Decaf-Poopacino-I ...animals-jokes: Deep Thoughts by ... Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy Picture>If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. To me, it s a good idea to always carry two sacks o... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Deep-Thoughts-by ...animals-jokes: DEER JOKES…. What ... DEER JOKES…. What did one doe say to the other doe as they walked outof the woods?- I ll never do that for two bucks again.What do you call a blind deer#NAME?What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?#NAME?... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-DEER-JOKES….-What ...animals-jokes: DEFECTIVE PARROT…. A ... DEFECTIVE PARROT…. A bloke is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on alittle perch. It doesn t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud;“Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?”The parrot says, “I was... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-DEFECTIVE-PARROT….-A ...animals-jokes: Dinosaurs Whats a ... Dinosaurs Whats a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotofpuss !Whats a gay dinosaur? A lickdicknopuss !... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Dinosaurs-Whats-a ...animals-jokes: DO NOT SAVE ... DO NOT SAVE - PASS ONA man takes the day off work anddecides to go out golfing.He is on the second hole when henotices a frog sitting next tothe green.He thinks nothing of it and isabout to shoot when hehears, Ribbit 9 I... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-DO-NOT-SAVE ...animals-jokes: DOG JOKES…. A ... DOG JOKES…. A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, “I m looking forthe man who shot my paw.”What has four legs and an arm?#NAME?What s got 2 legs and bleeds a lot?#NAME?A guy walks into a bar with his dog, he puts... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-DOG-JOKES….-A ...animals-jokes: Dog Named Mypenis ... Dog Named Mypenis Tired of boring old dog name like Ruff, Spot, Lassie, etc?The next time you get a dog, name it: MypenisWhy, you ask? Well just look at some of the great excuses you can use for school, work, and general... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Dog-Named-Mypenis ...animals-jokes: Dog Property Laws ... Dog Property Laws 1. If I like it, it s mine.2. If its in my mouth, it s mine.3. If I can take it from you, it s mine.4. If I had it a little while ago, it s mine.5. If I m chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.6... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Dog-Property-Laws ...animals-jokes: Dogs n ... Dogs n Light Bulbs How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?Border Collie: Just one. Then I ll replace any wiring that s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bu... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Dogs--n ...animals-jokes: Dogs and fleas ... Dogs and fleas Good question…Do dogs have fleas, or do fleas have dog?hmmmm.... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Dogs-and-fleas ...animals-jokes: dogs dont know ... dogs dont know 13 Things Dogs Don t Understand1. It s not a laugh to practice woofing at 3am.2. It s wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her.3. He shouldn t jump on your bed when he s soaking wet.4. The command... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-dogs-dont-know ...animals-jokes: Donald Duck Donald ... Donald Duck Donald Duck walked into a drugstore & asked for a packet of condoms.“Certainly, sir” said the lady behind the counter, “shall I put them on your bill?”“NO WAY!” replied Donald Duck, “What do you think I am, a... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Donald-Duck-Donald ...animals-jokes: DUCK HUNTING IN ... DUCK HUNTING IN MONTANA…. A world famous lawyer was duck hunting in Montana. Recently,he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve aduck he had shot. A farmer pulled up in his pickup truck,jumped out and asked ... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-DUCK-HUNTING-IN ...animals-jokes: DUCK JOKES…. This ... DUCK JOKES…. This guy walks into a bar with 3 ducks. The guy has a fewdrinks then goes to the can. The bartender says to the firstduck. “What s your name and what did you do today?” “Mynames Hughy. I went in and out of p... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-DUCK-JOKES….-This ...animals-jokes: Duck shopper A ... Duck shopper A duck walks in to a drug store and asks for a condom.The sales person comes back with the condom and says “Put this on your bill sir” to which the duck replies “what do you think I M a dickhead!”... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Duck-shopper-A ...animals-jokes: Ducks love grapes ... Ducks love grapes A duck walks into a convenience store. He asks the man at the counter, “You got any grapes?”Guy at the counter says, “No, we don t have any grapes.”Duck says “okay.” and he leaves.The next day the duck ... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Ducks-love-grapes ...animals-jokes: Eating a bald ... Eating a bald eagle A guy is caught by a ranger eating a bald eagle and is consequentlyput in jail for the crime. On the day of his trail, the conversationwent something like this:Judge: “Do you know that eating a bald e... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Eating-a-bald ...animals-jokes: Elephant Experiment Three ... Elephant Experiment Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant s backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been documented and the id... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Elephant-Experiment-Three ...animals-jokes: Elephant Jokes Eight ... Elephant Jokes Eight Q: Why do elephants have trunks?A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.Q: What do you do when you come across an elephant?A: Wipe it off!Q: Have you heard about Hannibal crossing th... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Elephant-Jokes-Eight ...animals-jokes: ELEPHANT JOKES…. It ... ELEPHANT JOKES…. It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephantsdecided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game wasgoing well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil,when the Ants... - Tags:
animals,
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-ELEPHANT-JOKES….-It ...animals-jokes: Elephant One Liners ... Elephant One Liners Hickory Dickory Dock, An elephant ran up the clock, The clock is being repaired.A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doe... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Elephant-One-Liners ...animals-jokes: Elephant Riddles One ... Elephant Riddles One Q: What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?A: Sir.Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?A: Anything you want, it can t hear you.Q: Why do elephants drink so much?A... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Elephant-Riddles-One ...animals-jokes: Elephant Riddles Seven ... Elephant Riddles Seven Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?A: They re all on the same team.Q: How do you know if there s an elephant in bed with you?A: She ha... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Elephant-Riddles-Seven ...animals-jokes: Elephant vs Ants ... Elephant vs Ants Soccer Game It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer.The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil,... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Elephant-vs-Ants ...animals-jokes: Elephant With Thorn ... Elephant With Thorn An elephant is walking through the jungle when she gets a thorn inher foot. She is in absolute agony until an ant strolls by. So theelephant says, “Help me, help me.” But the ant refuses unless theele... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Elephant-With-Thorn ...animals-jokes: Energizer Bunny arrested! ... Energizer Bunny arrested! Did you hear?The Energizer bunny has been arrested for Battery.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Energizer-Bunny-arrested! ...animals-jokes: Ernie the Hamster ... Ernie the Hamster If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead goldfish It s a long story but one that will have you laughing out LOUD!!Overview: I had ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Ernie-the-Hamster ...animals-jokes: Escaping from a ... Escaping from a lion Two guys in a jungle, come around a corner and meet a lion head-on pawing the ground.One guy ever so carefully reaches into his knapsack and slowly takes out a set of Nike running shoes, never once b... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Escaping-from-a ...animals-jokes: Farmboy & Bull ... Farmboy & Bull Little farmboy comes in late for school. Teacher asks why he s late. Farmboy replies that he had to take the family cow over to the neighbour s to get her bred by a bull. Annoyed, teacher demands, “Can t y... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Farmboy-&-Bull ...animals-jokes: FINGER LICKIN GOOD???…. ... FINGER LICKIN GOOD???…. A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chickenrunning along side his car. He was amazed to see the chickenkeeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH.He accelerated to 60 and the ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-FINGER-LICKIN-GOOD???…. ...animals-jokes: FLY SEX…. I ... FLY SEX…. I stopped at a friends house the other day and found himstalking around the house with a flyswatter. When I asked if he got any flies, he answered, “Yeah, 5 of ‘em,3 males and 2 females”. Curious, I inquired as... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-FLY-SEX….-I ...animals-jokes: For Bird Lovers! ... For Bird Lovers! I woke early one morning,The earth lay cool and stillWhen suddenly a tiny birdPerch on my window sill.He sang a song so lovelySo carefree and so gay,That slowly all my troubles,Began to slip away.He sang... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-For-Bird-Lovers! ...animals-jokes: For Cat Lovers ... For Cat Lovers An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.Anything on the ground is a cat toy. Anything not there yet, will be.At least dogs do what you tell them to do. Cats take a message and get back to you.B... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-For-Cat-Lovers ...animals-jokes: FROG LOAN…. A ... FROG LOAN…. A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can seefrom her nameplate that the teller s name is Patricia Whack.So he says, “Ms.Whack, I d like to get a loan to buy a boat andgo on a long vacation.”P... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-FROG-LOAN….-A ...animals-jokes: FROG NOISE…. A ... FROG NOISE…. A sister and brother are talking to each other whenthe little boy gets up and walks over to his Grandpaand says, “Grandpa, please make a frog noise.” The Grandpa says, “No.” The little boy goes on, “Please .... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-FROG-NOISE….-A ...animals-jokes: Frog on the ... Frog on the head A man walks into a doctors office one day with a frog on his head.He sits down and the doctor says, “What s the problem?”The frog says, “Doctor, is there any way you can get this wart off my ass?”... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Frog-on-the ...animals-jokes: FROG What did ... FROG What did one Lesbian frog say to the other Lesbian frog?You know what…we DO taste like chicken!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-FROG-What-did ...animals-jokes: GIRAFFE IN A ... GIRAFFE IN A BAR…. A giraffe walks into a bar. Bartender asks “what can I getyou.” The giraffe says “Get me a beer. I all ready had twohi-balls.” ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-GIRAFFE-IN-A ...animals-jokes: Gorilla in a ... Gorilla in a Tree A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Gorilla-in-a ...animals-jokes: Grasshopper A grasshopper ... Grasshopper A grasshopper walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me a drink.”The bartender can t believe his eyes and says, “Oh my Gosh, I can t believe this, you re a talking grasshopper!”“Do you know we have drink... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Grasshopper-A-grasshopper ...animals-jokes: Great Dane A ... Great Dane A man goes to a bar and he ties his Great Dane up outside. About 10 minutes later a lady comes in and asks whos Great Dane is outside.“Mine” says the man. “My dog has just killed him”, she says.“What breed is ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Great-Dane-A ...animals-jokes: Hamlet s Cat ... Hamlet s Cat s Soliloquy Hamlet s Cat s SoliloquyTo go outside, and there perchance to stay Or to remain within: that is the question: Whether tis better for a cat to suffer The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather Th... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Hamlet-s-Cat ...animals-jokes: Have you Ever… ... Have you Ever… Have you ever smelled mothballs????I was just wondering how you would get their little legs open!!!! ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Have-you-Ever… ...professional-jokes: HEBREW READING…. A ... HEBREW READING…. A team of archaeologists were working in Jerusalem when theyfound a slab of rock with five figures carved on it. In orderthe figures were: 1. A Woman 2. A Donkey 3. A Shovel 4. A Fishand 5. A Star of Dav... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/professional-jokes-HEBREW-READING….-A ...school-jokes: Here s Little ... Here s Little Johnny! A teacher in New York City wanted to see how many animals the city kids in her fourth-grade class could identify. She drew a picture of a cow on the blackboard and said, “Who can tell me what this i... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/school-jokes-Here-s-Little ...animals-jokes: Horny Mouse One ... Horny Mouse One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse s confidence with some cheese and then t... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Horny-Mouse-One ...animals-jokes: Horny Rooster A ... Horny Rooster A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens. When he told this to th... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Horny-Rooster-A ...animals-jokes: HORSE JOKES…. A ... HORSE JOKES…. A horse walks into the bar. The bartender says,“Why the long face?”An Indian scouting party captures a cowboy from a bar and bringshim back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to thecowboy, “You... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-HORSE-JOKES….-A ...animals-jokes: Horses A horse ... Horses A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says… “Why the longface?” ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Horses-A-horse ...gender-jokes: HOUSEHOLD TIPS FOR ... HOUSEHOLD TIPS FOR THE LAZY WOMAN…. 1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with aserious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions CarpetFresh. 2. Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhin... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/gender-jokes-HOUSEHOLD-TIPS-FOR ...animals-jokes: How do you ... How do you catch a polar bear? How do you catch a polar bear in Alaska?First you go out and cut a hole in the ice. Then, you line the holewith peas. When the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in theice-hole... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-How-do-you ...animals-jokes: How many Polish ... How many Polish people does it take to milk a cow? How many polish people does it take to milk a cow?9, four to hold the legs, four to hold the udders, and one to tell them when to move the cow up and down... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-How-many-Polish ...animals-jokes: How To Catch ... How To Catch A Polar Bear How do you catch a polar bear?You dig a hole in the ice and place peas all around it, and when thepolar bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-How-To-Catch ...animals-jokes: How to give ... How to give your Cat a Pill. 1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while ho... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-How-to-give ...animals-jokes: Huey, Dewy, and ... Huey, Dewy, and Puddles A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she comes across 3 dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she approaches them, bends down and starts to stroke one of them: “Ah, y... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Huey,-Dewy,-and ...animals-jokes: I Like Monkeys ... I Like Monkeys The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them. I like mon... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-I-Like-Monkeys ...animals-jokes: IN A PIG ... IN A PIG S EYE…. A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty yearsand tells the priest he s been having sexual intercourse witha pig ever since his wife died. The priest asks him if he intends to continue do... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-IN-A-PIG ...animals-jokes: INSECT JOKES…. Two ... INSECT JOKES…. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went toHollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behindin the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The secondone, naturally, became known as... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-INSECT-JOKES….-Two ...idiots-jokes: INSULTS…. I don ... INSULTS…. I don t think you are a fool. But then what s MY opinion againstthousands of others?I don t want you to turn the other cheek. It s just as ugly.I feel sorry for you because you are so homely but I feel evensorr... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/idiots-jokes-INSULTS….-I-don ...animals-jokes: INSURANCE CLAIMS…. The ... INSURANCE CLAIMS…. The following are actual statements found on insuranceforms where car drivers attempted to summarize the detailsof an accident in the fewest possible words. I pulled away from the side of the road, gla... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-INSURANCE-CLAIMS….-The ...animals-jokes: INTELLIGENT CHICKENS…. A ... INTELLIGENT CHICKENS…. A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find thelibrarian and say, ‘Buk Buk BUK. The librarian decidesthat the chickens want three books, and promptly gives themsome. Without further ado, t... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-INTELLIGENT-CHICKENS….-A ...animals-jokes: It was spring ... It was spring in the old west.The cowboys rode the still snow choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter.As one cowboy s horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-It-was-spring ...animals-jokes: Jesus is watching ... Jesus is watching You A robber was shinning his torch around at some objects. “Jesus is watching you,” a voice said “Huh?, oh well,” the robber said and continued shinning his torch. “Jesus is watching you,” the voice co... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Jesus-is-watching ...school-jokes: July 18, 2005LITTLE ... July 18, 2005LITTLE JOHNNY S SENTENCE… A teacher asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in asentence. Mary said, “My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we sawall the animals. It was fascinating.” The teach... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/school-jokes-July-18,-2005LITTLE ...animals-jokes: Kewl Cat Quips ... Kewl Cat Quips There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods…Cats have never forgotten this.Here s proof that Cats are smarter than dogs…You can t get eight c... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Kewl-Cat-Quips ...school-jokes: Kid Science Quotes ... Kid Science Quotes The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain s contention that the ‘most inte... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/school-jokes-Kid-Science-Quotes ...animals-jokes: King of the ... King of the Jungle… A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared,“Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!L... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-King-of-the ...animals-jokes: LEOPARD…. A wealthy ... LEOPARD…. A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took hisfaithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasingbutterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So,wandering about he no... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-LEOPARD….-A-wealthy ...animals-jokes: Lisping Midget A ... Lisping Midget A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him through to look at all of his horses. The owner is really getting pissed off.Finally, the last horse and... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Lisping-Midget-A ...animals-jokes: LIVESTOCK AUCTION…. This ... LIVESTOCK AUCTION…. This couple go to an agricultural show way out in thecountryside a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching theauctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bullsannounces the first bull to be auctioned ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-LIVESTOCK-AUCTION….-This ...animals-jokes: Lonely Cow in ... Lonely Cow in Field Q: What do you call a bull in the middle of a field spanking his monkey?A: Beef Stroganoff... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Lonely-Cow-in ...animals-jokes: Lucky dog What ... Lucky dog What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Lucky-dog-What ...animals-jokes: Mad Cow Disease ... Mad Cow Disease There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.The first cow said, “I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cow... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Mad-Cow-Disease ...animals-jokes: Mice in a ... Mice in a lightbulb? Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: Two…but I don t know how they d get in there!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Mice-in-a ...animals-jokes: Miss Muffet Little ... Miss Muffet Little miss muffet… sat on her tuffet… eating her kurds and way.Along came a spider, who sat down beside her, and said: “hey, whatsin the bowl bitch?!”... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Miss-Muffet-Little ...animals-jokes: Missy in heat ... Missy in heat Angela went up to her mom and ask if she could take missy for awalk. Her mom said no, that missy was in heat.“What is heat?” Mom said go ask your Dad, he is outside working oncar.Angela goes outside and ask... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Missy-in-heat ...animals-jokes: MONKEY BUSINESS…. What ... MONKEY BUSINESS…. What do monkeys and chainsaws have in common?#NAME?Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen ifthey rammed a cork up an elephant s backside and force fed itfor 2 weeks. But because the ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-MONKEY-BUSINESS….-What ...animals-jokes: Mouse balls are ... Mouse balls are now available as a FRU (Field Replacement Unit).Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it performerratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of thedelicate nature of this procedure, rep... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Mouse-balls-are ...animals-jokes: Ms. Piggy Counts ... Ms. Piggy Counts Q: Why can t Miss Piggy count to 70?A: Because she has a frog in her throat at 69!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-Ms.-Piggy-Counts ...animals-jokes: My Paw A ... My Paw A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the old west and siddles up to the bar and announces: “I m looking for the man who shot my paw!”... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-My-Paw-A ...animals-jokes: NAMES OF DRINKS…. ... NAMES OF DRINKS…. A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a beer. The bartendersays “You know, we have a drink named after you here.” Thegrasshopper looks puzzled, and replies “You have a drinknamed Fred?”A white horse ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-NAMES-OF-DRINKS…. ...animals-jokes: National Books About ... National Books About the Elelphant Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant:The French book - The Sex Life of the Elephant or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant.The English book - Elephants I have shot on Safari.The ... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-National-Books-About ...animals-jokes: New dinosaur found! ... New dinosaur found! Q: What do you get when you mix a dinosaur and a lesbian?A: A Lickalotapuss... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-New-dinosaur-found! ...animals-jokes: New dog breed ... New dog breed Did you here about the new dog breed of dog?It s a cross between a Pittbull and a Collie.First it bites off your leg, and then it runs for help.... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-New-dog-breed ...animals-jokes: No Brakes Did ... No Brakes Did you ever hear about Blitzen the Brown nosed reindeer?He is twice as fast as Rudolf but doesn t stop as quick!... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-No-Brakes-Did ...religion-jokes: Noah went to ... Noah went to see God to ask him for a new and improved ark . "Ok Noah. I think it is time you had a new ark", God said. "Take a seat, tell me your ideas, and I ll start a design". "Well, firstly, I d like it to have ple... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/religion-religious-jokes-Noah-went-to ...animals-jokes: NOAH…. When the ... NOAH…. When the ark s door was closed Noah called a meetingwith all the animals. “Listen up!” Noah said with ademanding voice. “There will be NO sex on this trip.Not even the wetting of the tip of your penis. All ofyou m... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-NOAH….-When-the ...animals-jokes: One Christmas Eve, ... One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop lookingfor an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggesteda parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. Thisseemed like the p... - Tags:
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www.funnyjokes1.com/animals-jokes-One-Christmas-Eve, ...
