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animals-jokes: No Brakes Did ...
No Brakes Did you ever hear about Blitzen the Brown nosed reindeer?He is twice as fast as Rudolf but doesn t stop as quick!... - Tags: animals, ...
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adult-jokes: "And will there ...
"And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two. "No thank you." the gentleman replied. "That will be all." As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: "Doc, I think ...
"Doc, I think my son has gonorrhea," a patient told his urologist on the phone. "The only woman he s screwed is our maid.""Ok, don t be hard on him. He s just a kid," the medic soothed. "Get him in here right away and I ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: "Doc," says Steve, ...
"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement. "It s something I ve been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve. "But have you thought it... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: "Get this." said ...
"Get this." said the bloke to his mates, "Last night while I was down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house. "Did he get anything." his mates asked. "yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair o... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: "Honey," said this ...
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don t feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: "I can t ...
"I can t find a cause for your illness," the doctor said. "Frankly, I think it s due to drinking." "In that case," replied his patient, "I ll come back when you are sober."... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: "I ve got ...
"I ve got some good news and some bad news" the doctor says. "What s the bad news?" asks the patient. "The bad news is that unfortunately you ve only got 3 months to live". The patient is taken back, "What s the good new... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: "Mom, may I ...
"Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" a little girl asked. "No, I don t think so. Fifi is in heat," replied the mother. "What does that mean?" asked the child. Embarrassed and not wanting to get into a b... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: "That wife of ...
"That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar. "How do you know?" the friend asked. "She didn t come home last night, and when I asked her where she d been, she ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: ?" The professor ...
?" The professor replied, "I gave you 50... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A 16-year-old girl ...
A 16-year-old girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party by herself. Since she was very good-looking, she was a bit nervous about what to do if boys hit on her. Her mom said, "It s very easy! Whenever a boy starts... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A 54 year ...
A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads...Dear Wife,I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the GrandHotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A 92 year-old ...
A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. At his follow up visit the doctor talked to the man and said,... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A baby was ...
A baby was just born. He had all his pieces and looked quite normal, except that he was laughing like crazy. I mean laughing real hard. All the doctors and nurses were examining the little thing, in front of the worried ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A bear and ...
A bear and a bunny are sitting in a forest taking a shit. The bear leans over to the bunny and says "Do you ever have the problem of shit sticking to your fur"? The bunny says "No". So the bear grabs the bunny and wipes ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A blind man ...
A blind man interviews for a job as a quality controller at the local wood mill. The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him how he expected to do this job since he was blind. The blind man replied he wo... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A blind man ...
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I m sorry sir, but I am blind and can t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork fro... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A blind man ...
A blind man was walking down the street with his dog. They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic. The dog, at this point, started pissing on the mans leg. As the dog finished the man reached into his coat... - Tags: adult, ...
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blondes-jokes: A blonde decides ...
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn t done before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very sti... - Tags: blondes, ...
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adult-jokes: A blonde walked ...
A blonde walked in on her husband having an affair. She was so angry she pulled out a gun and pointed to the woman s head. She was about to pull the trigger, when her husband said, "No, don t!" and she replied, "Shut up,... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A boy is ...
A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. "Mom", the boy asks, "What s a pussy?"The mother being startled by this thinks quick and f... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A boy was ...
A boy was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the dis... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A bride who ...
A bride who got a little too drunk at her wedding reception was still determined to say a few words of thanks to the guests for all their presents. She stumbled through a short speech and then slowly turned to point to t... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A businessman and ...
A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, go to his house for an early afternoon quickie. "Don t worry," he assures her, "my wife is out of town on a business trip, so there s no risk." As one thing leads to ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A businessman and ...
A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, retire to his house for what is popularly termed a "nooner." "Don t worry," he purrs. "My wife is out of town on a business trip, there s no risk." As one thing leads... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A captain of ...
A captain of his ship was sailing the seas one afternoon, when suddenly over the horizon a pirate ship was seen. The captain yells "Everyone prepare for battle, and hand me my red jacket." To which one of the crew member... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A city boy ...
A city boy wanted to marry a country girl. She insists that he has to ask her father for her hand in marriage. So off he goes to their farm to ask her father. "I want to marry your daughter". "Well, my boy you will have ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A cop saw ...
A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell liquor on her breath.He said, I m going to give you a breatha... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A couple decided ...
A couple decided to Alaska for a romantic weekend. When they got to the cabin it was cold so the wife asked her husband to go chop some wood for that fire place. He came in after 5 minutes and told his wife that his hand... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A couple drove ...
A couple drove down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither would concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "R... - Tags: adult, ...
www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-A-couple-drove ...


adult-jokes: A couple is ...
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I ll miss you."... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A couple just ...
A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentile, I m still a virgin." The husband being shocked, replied, "How s this possible? You ve ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A couple made ...
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the after life. The woman s biggest fear was that there was no heaven. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A couple of ...
A couple of drinkin buddies, who are airplane mechanics, are in the hangar at Logan; it s fogged in and they have nothing to do. One of them says to the other, "Man, have you got anything to drink?"The other one says, "... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A couple s ...
A couple s taking a walk, and as they walk hand-in-hand, the guy starts to get aroused. He s just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don t mind, but I have to take a pee." He says, "Sure, go behind the hedge.... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A couple was ...
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take so... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A couple were ...
A couple were indulged in sexual intercourse and the man noticed that with each movement of his pelvis, his partner s toes would rise.Later that night, while going at it pretty hot and heavy in the shower, her toes remai... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A couple were ...
A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I ll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don t expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A couple, both ...
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist s office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finish... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A crowded United ...
A crowded United Air Lines flight was cancelled. A single agent was assigned to rebook a long line of unhappy inconvenienced travelers. She was doing her best when suddenly an angry customer pushed his way to her desk. H... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A deep-sea diver ...
A deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear. He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment stays with him. He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A depressed young ...
A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, "Look,... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A doctor and ...
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren t so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he d better make amends and called home."What took you so... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A Doctor recently ...
A Doctor recently had a patient "drop" in on him for an unscheduled appointment. "What can I do for you today?" the Doctor asked. The aged Gentleman replied: "Doctor, you must help me. Every time I make love to my wife, ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A doctor walked ...
A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said,... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A doctor was ...
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But ho... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A dog, a ...
A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don t think so, my master makes me do my business ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A dwarf gets ...
A dwarf gets on an elevator and pushes the button to go up, just before the door closes, a hand comes through and opens the door. In steps a very large black man. The dwarf stares and says "You re the biggest man I have ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A famous pilot ...
A famous pilot was having dinner with a brunette and when they finished they headed to a hotel. He calls room service and asked for a bottle of red wine. When it arrived he put some red wine on the brunettes lips and sta... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A farmer and ...
A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening; she was knitting, and he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry. He looked up from the page and said to her, "Did you know that humans are the only species i... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A farmer hires ...
A farmer hires a college student one summer to help around the farm. At the end of the summer the farmer says, "Son, since you have done such a fine job here this summer, I am going to throw a party for you." The college... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A farmer is ...
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of h... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A farmer was ...
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What ve you got in your truck?""Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A farmer who ...
A farmer who s been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim. "I understand you re claiming damages for the injuries you re supposed to have suffered... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A fellow went ...
A fellow went off on his honeymoon, and after returning meets up with a friend for a beer and conversation. The friend, being single and a pervert to boot, begins to inquire as to the festivities of the honeymoon. "So, B... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A five-year-old boy ...
A five-year-old boy was mowing his front lawn and drinking a beer. The preacher who lived across the street saw the beer and came over to harass the kid. "Aren t you a little young to be drinking, son?" he asked. "That s... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A flat-chested young ...
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He told her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your nipples and say, Scooby dooby dooby, I want bigger boobies. ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A friend asked ...
A friend asked me the other day why I never got married. I replied "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I ve been looking for the perfect girl.""Oh, come on now," said my friend. "Surely you have me... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A funeral service ...
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A funeral service ...
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint... - Tags: adult, ...
www.funnyjokes1.com/adult-jokes-A-funeral-service ...


adult-jokes: A gay guy ...
A gay guy walked into a delicatessen and asked the shopkeeper for a large knob of salami. "Would you like it sliced, sir?" the shopkeeper asked politely. "What do you think I am?" replied the fag, "...a slot machine!?"... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A gay guy ...
A gay guy walks into the doctors office. He takes off his clothes for examination. When he takes his clothes off the doctor sees a Nicoderm patch at the end of his penis. The doctor says... "Hmmm, that s interesting...Do... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A gay man, ...
A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A group of ...
A group of prisoners are in their rehabilitation meeting. Their task for today is to each stand up in turn speak their name and admit to their fellow inmates what crime they committed. The first prisoner stands and says ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy calls ...
A guy calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help! My wife s going into labor!" The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?" He says, "No! This is her fucking husband!"... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy can ...
A guy can t obtain an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there s nothing he can do unless he s willing to try an experimental surgery. The guy... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy comes ...
A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger fucking his wife. He says, "What the hell are you two doing?" His wife turns to the stranger and says, "I told you he was stupid."... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy goes ...
A guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "Man, I m dying to have sex in the worst way. So the bartender says, "Well, the worst way I know of is standing up in a hammock."... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy goes ...
A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you ve got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can check. Damned if the guy s penis isn t orange. Doc tells the guy, "Th... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy goes ...
A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She s not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a BAD case of gas and really needs to relieve some pressure. Then, the family dog jumps up... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy goes ...
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play Magic ?" She says, "What s that?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy had ...
A guy had a major argument with his girlfriend. He was in the wrong, but not enough to back down without an argument. So after storming away, and cooling off, the guy had a think. He was clearly in the wrong and felt pre... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy has ...
A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine. On the way home, he pulls over to ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A Guy is ...
A Guy is driving his girlfriend home when she decides she wants to go to her friends instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she tells her boyfriend that she would get naked for him if he drove her. The guy says ok a... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy is ...
A guy is driving out in the middle of nowhere, very lost. Finally he spots 2 houses so he goes up to the first house and looks in the door way. He sees an old lady yanking on her boobs and an old man jerking off. He is s... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy is ...
A guy is horny a hell - but broke. He goes to a whorehouse with $5.00, and begs the Madame to give him whatever she can for it. She says "I m sorry, but that will only cover the rent for ten minutes, and none of my hooke... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy is ...
A guy is riding the bus when at a stop, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen gets on. The only problem is that she is a nun. He decides to approach her anyway. "Sister, you are the most beautiful woman I ve ever see... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy is ...
A guy is walking around in a supermarket yelling, "Cris-co, Cris-co?" A store clerk says to him, "Sir, the Crisco is in Aisle Five." He says, "I m not looking for cooking Crisco, I m calling my wife." The clerk says, "Yo... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy is ...
A guy is walking down the street and enters a clock and watch shop. While looking around, he notices a drop dead gorgeous female clerk behind the counter. He walks up to the counter where she is standing, unzips his pant... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy is ...
A guy is walking down the street with some chicken wire under his arm. His neighbor sees him and asks what he has. The guy replies, "Its chicken wire and I m going to catch some chickens." His neighbor says, "You fool, y... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy is ...
A guy is walking past a bus stop and says to a woman "Can I smell your cunt?" "Fuck off, no you can t smell my cunt!" the woman yells back at him, "Oh" he replies, looking slightly confused, "it must be your feet then".... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy meets ...
A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back to her place for the night, her parents are out of town and this is the perfect opportunity. They get back to her house and they go into her bedroom, and whe... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy met ...
A guy met this girl in a bar and asked, "May I buy you a drink?". Looking back unimpressed at the man she replies, "Okay, but it won t do you any good." A little later, he asks, "May I buy you another drink?""Okay, but i... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy phones ...
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses wife instead. "I m afraid he died last week." she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week." The n... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy s ...
A guy s eating in a restaurant and spots a gorgeous woman sitting all alone. He calls over his waiter and says, "Send that woman a bottle of your most expensive champagne, on me." The waiter quickly brings the champagne ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy s ...
A guy s talking to a girl in a bar.He says, "What s your name?"She says, "Carmen."He says, "That s a nice name. Who named you, your mother?"She says, "No, I named myself."He says, "Why Carmen?"She says, "Because I like c... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy s ...
A guy s walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City and he runs into a hooker. He says, "How much?" She says "Twenty bucks." He says, "All right." They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her. The next night, he... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy starts ...
A guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turn out to be Siamese twins, and they wind up back at his apartment. He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other. He realizes that the first one might get ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy stops ...
A guy stops by to visit his friend. They talk for a while and then the friend asks, "My feet are cold. Would you be so kind as to go get me my sneakers please?" The guest obliges and goes upstairs. There he sees his frie... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy walks ...
A guy walks into a bar and orders 12 tequilas. The bartender asked, "what s wrong," and the guy says that he just found out that his younger son is gay. The bartender says, "he s sorry about it." After a couple of days t... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy walks ...
A guy walks into a bar with his midget wife and takes a stool, with his wife standing next to him. The bartender was busy at the other end and didn t see them when they walked in. When he got done serving the customers t... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy walks ...
A guy walks into a local pharmacy and walks up to the counter where a lady pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she finally gets around to helping him he says, "I d like 99 condoms please". With a surprised look on ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy walks ...
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don t care, open it now!!!" h... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy was ...
A guy was on his first date with a notoriously loose girl. She was immediately receptive to his foreplay after they parked. The petting went on and he put his hand in her panties. She seemed to be enjoying it, but sudden... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy was ...
A guy was playing golf, a golf ball hit him in the balls and he passed out. His friends took him to the doctor. The man asked him, "Well, what do you think, doc?" The doctor replied," We re going to have to put in a supp... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy went ...
A guy went out hunting. He had all the gear, the jacket, the boots and the double-barreled shotgun. As he was climbing over a fence, he dropped the gun and it went off, right on his penis. Obviously, he had to see a doct... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A guy who ...
A guy who married this woman. Unfortunately, his dick was too small, so every time they had sex he used a pickle instead of his dick. For seven year s he has been doing that. One night his wife suspect that something is ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A handsome young ...
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery and the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. The friend was amazed at the number of Nurses who entered the room in ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A handsome young ...
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery, and the day after the procedure a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. His friend was amazed at the number of nurses who entered the room in ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A hippy walks ...
A hippy walks into a Bar and Grill. The waiter comes up to him and asks him if he wants anything. So the Hippy says Yeah a cheeseburger. Not too well done, not to rare, but right in the groove. So the waiter brings his... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A huge guy ...
A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, "How the hell do the two of you have sex?" The big guy says, "I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits on top, and I bob her up and... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A huge muscular ...
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can t help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the gu... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A hunter kills ...
A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and serve the venison for supper. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won t eat it if they know what it is - so he does not tell them. His little boy keep... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A husband and ...
A husband and his wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed. So the man says to hi... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A husband and ...
A husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, "Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we re going up to our room for a little while." Pretty so... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A husband and ...
A husband and wife are traveling by car from Atlanta to New York. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they decide to stop at a nice hotel and take a room. They only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A husband and ...
A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, "You say you ve been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem?" The wife replies, "It s my hus... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A husband and ...
A husband and wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local country club. The man and woman meet the pro and head onto the driving range. The man goes up to hit first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards. The go... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A husband and ...
A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular corner and informed her he would ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A husband and ...
A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ba... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A husband comes ...
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you re going?" he says. "I m going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A husband emerged ...
A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache." "Perfect," her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You c... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A husband is ...
A husband is visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. While doing so, the wife lets out a sigh. Pleasan... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A husband walks ...
A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, "What s that for?""It s for your headache.""I don t have a headache."He replies, "Gotcha!"... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A kindergarten teacher ...
A kindergarten teacher comes to class and says, "Today class I am going to give you a letter of the alphabet and I want you to give me a word that begins with that letter." She begins with the letter "A" and all the kids... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A kindergarten teacher ...
A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. Th... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A knockout young ...
A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick. So she proceeded to find herself a rich 73 year old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any p... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A lady goes ...
A lady goes to the doctor s office and tells the doctor that she can t get her husband to have sex with her anymore. So, the doctor gives her some pills and says to give her husband one each night in his dinner whenever ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A lady went ...
A lady went to her doctor for a check-up. when asked how she got the bruises on the outside of her thighs, she explained that she got them from having sex. The doctor then told her she would have to change positions unti... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A large, powerfully-built ...
A large, powerfully-built guy named Raymond meets a woman named Polly at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, Raymond stands up and starts to undress... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A lecturer teaching ...
A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on Observation . He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This", he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste.... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A little boy ...
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies,... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A little boy ...
A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As he passes his parent s bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole. He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, "B... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A little boy ...
A little boy is sitting in the barber s chair and becoming anxious, so the barber gives him a tootsie roll to keep him quiet. As the barber trims his bangs, loose hair falls over his face. "Do you have hair on your goodi... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A little boy ...
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his younger cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen." the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he answered so quickly. "How do yo... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A little boy ...
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A little dwarf ...
A little dwarf lady goes into her doctor s office complaining of an irritated crotch. After an examination, the doctor sighs, "I don t seem to see any problem. Does it get better or worse at any time?" "Yeah, it s really... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A little old ...
A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper. "Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager, "but can you explain the differences in all these to... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A Little Rabbit ...
A Little Rabbit is running happily through the woods when he comes across a Giraffe rolling a joint. He runs up the Giraffe and says, "Hey, Giraffe. You shouldn t do that. Think of your health. You should come running in... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A local law ...
A local law enforcement officer stopped a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he was in a good mood that day he decided to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a tic... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A major Hollywood ...
A major Hollywood star decided to do a charity dinner and invited hundreds of people to take part. To make it interesting, the host decided to make it a costume party with the theme of emotions. So that night, the first ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A male whale ...
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man and ...
A man and a woman had been married some time when the woman began to question her husband. "I know you ve been with a lot of woman before. How many were there?" The husband replied, "Look, I don t want to upset you, ther... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man and ...
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you ve been eating grass ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man and ...
A man and a woman were celebrating their 50th anniversary. They were talking before their dinner about how they should celebrate their big evening. The woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he s... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man and ...
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we re so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man and ...
A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.Man: "What are you doing here today?"Woman: "Oh, I m here to donate some blood. They re going to give me $5 for it."Man: "Hmm, that s interesting. I m here t... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man and ...
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the man on the top bunk, the woman on the lower. In the middle ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man and ...
A man and his four year old son are talking, when his son asks him "Dad, what does a pussy look like?" The Dad confused, asks him " before or after sex?" The kid says "Ummm before sex" So the dad says to him "Well have u... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man and ...
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man and ...
A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling he... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man and ...
A man and his wife were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. The wife says to her husband, "For our anniversary this year, you can ask me one question, any question you want to. I will answer it truthfully."The hu... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man and ...
A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil sta... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man and ...
A man and woman are at a bar having a few beers. They start talking and soon realize they re both doctors. After an hour, the man says, "Hey, how about if we sleep together tonight? No strings attached." The woman doctor... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man and ...
A man and woman were dating and he asked her to marry him. She told him to prove his love to her she wanted him to get her name, Wendy, tattooed on his penis. When it was erect is said Wendy and when it was limp if said ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man comes ...
A man comes home from a night of drinking. As he falls through the doorway, his wife snaps at him, "What s the big idea coming home half drunk?" The man replies, "I m sorry honey. I ran out of money." ... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man entered ...
A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the tab... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man from ...
A man from Texas buys a round of drinks for everyone in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced "A typical Texas baby boy weighing twenty pounds." Congratulations shower all around, and many exclamations of w... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man from ...
A man from the Internal Revenue Service knocks on a door and it is opened by a little boy. The man asks the boy, "Where is your mother?" The boy states, "She s in the backyard, screwing the goat." The man exclaims, "Son,... - Tags: adult, ...
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adult-jokes: A man goes ...
A man goes to a doctor and says " What shall I do? I ve just been raped by an elephant!" The doctor tells him to bend over so he can have a look at his ass. "That s funny!" He says " your asshole is 10 inches wide! I tho... - Tags: adult, ...
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